tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67009805849913103372024-03-13T23:45:12.072+01:00Jemimah-Nikky Jates' BlogEntertainment Gist. Girls Corner. Inspiration. Love & Life. Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.comBlogger109125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-86697605236396405422019-09-30T16:40:00.000+01:002019-09-30T16:40:01.300+01:00What, to a Nigerian, is the 1st of October?<div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WXIkcX8URBo/XZIgn_rcKZI/AAAAAAAAGDQ/QiHzBlu1IeQGtb-YLI6vTLYGKLzWYktAACEwYBhgL/s1600/rough-broken-brick-isolated-on-white-background-flag-of-nigeria-JB8YRK.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="991" data-original-width="1300" height="243" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WXIkcX8URBo/XZIgn_rcKZI/AAAAAAAAGDQ/QiHzBlu1IeQGtb-YLI6vTLYGKLzWYktAACEwYBhgL/s320/rough-broken-brick-isolated-on-white-background-flag-of-nigeria-JB8YRK.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;">What, to a Nigerian, is the 1<sup>st</sup>
of October? </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I answer; a day that reveals to her, more than all other days in
the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which she is the constant victim.
To her, the celebration is a sham; the boasted liberty, an unholy licence; the famed
title <i>giant of Africa</i>, mere swelling vanity;
the sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless; its denunciations of tyrants,
brass-fronted impudence; the shouts of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; the
independence service, prayers and hymns, the sermons and thanksgivings, with
all the religious parade, and solemnity, are, to her, mere bombast, Fraud, deception,
impiety, and hypocrisy- a thin veil to
cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of <i>savages</i>. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;">There is not a nation on the earth
guilty of practices, more shocking and bloody, than in this very nation, at
this very hour.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Go where you may, search where you
will, roam through all the monarchies and despotisms of the old world, travel
through the Apartheid of South Africa, search out every abuse, and when you
have found the last, lay your facts by the side of the everyday practices of
this nation, and you will say with me, that for revolting barbarity and
shameless hypocrisy, Nigeria reigns without a rival. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Our distress comes from no failure of
substance, neither are we stricken by a plague of locusts. In fact, plenty is
at our doorstep, but the right use of it languishes in the very sight of
supply. Yet we occupy ourselves with divisive and hateful narratives sold by
selfish politicians who profiteer therefrom, while the evils of poverty,
disease and insecurity have become our eternal compatriots, which do not discriminate
against tribe nor religion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;">At the time like this, scorching
irony, not convincing argument, is needed. O! had I the ability, and could I
reach the nation’s ear, I would, today, pour out a fiery stream of biting
ridicule, blasting reproach, withering sarcasm, and stern rebuke.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;">For it is not light that is needed,
but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the
whirlwind, and the earthquake. The feeling of the nation must be quickened; the
conscience of the nation must be roused; the propriety of the nation must be
startled; the hypocrisy of the nation must be exposed; and its crime against
God and man must be proclaimed and denounced.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Oh that we will arise and collectively
tackle the challenges that bedevil this nation and liberate our country from
mental laziness and the incestuous relationship we have formed between mineral
resource and corruption.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Happy Independence Nigeria, the comatose
giant!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;">NOTES<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">1.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;">President Franklin Roosevelt
1933 Inaugural Speech<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">2.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Niran Adedokun, “How Nigeria
bred Hausa, Igbo, & Yoruba Miscreants” August 2019<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">3.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The Frederick Douglass
Papers. Monday July 5, 1852</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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Photo credit: Alamy Photo Stock</div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 17.12px; margin: 0px;">Contact her via email: jtjemimah98@yahoo.com</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 17.12px; margin: 0px;">Twitter/Instagram: @nikkyjates</span></div>
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-12850852558164103092018-10-02T17:58:00.000+01:002018-10-02T18:02:10.716+01:00NIGERIA, 58 YEARS LATER: DIFFERENT PEOPLE, ONE HOPE<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pk__uCuUCWE/W7OeMcKaaYI/AAAAAAAAC7A/C9BN6huMRFcAfvvzqCoeY-vMkonpZLokgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_20181002_132714_197.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="521" data-original-width="888" height="187" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pk__uCuUCWE/W7OeMcKaaYI/AAAAAAAAC7A/C9BN6huMRFcAfvvzqCoeY-vMkonpZLokgCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_20181002_132714_197.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">So, the festivities of the independence
holiday have died down. The long holidays with its partying, Cookouts, spending
quality time with family and not forgetting the unfortunate mix of the Labour
Strike, have given way to a new work week. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Drawing on the reactions of many people, I can tell that quite a number feel there is very little to be happy about in this 58<sup>th</sup>
year celebration of Nigeria’s independence. In fact, the pessimism of social
media pundits who have become chief campaigners of this naysaying has permeated
into the minds of their followers and you can see from the long line of
retweets and comments that indeed they are not alone in their opinion.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">They may be right in their own thinking that
58 years later, the country seems to have been in more upheavals than necessary
and at best has been in a state of stagnation and for that they have nothing to
be jubilant for. As easy as it is to be pessimistic, I choose not to jump onto
that bandwagon.</span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">I believe that our founding fathers had bigger
dreams about Nigeria compared to what we have today. Healthy competition
amongst the old regions created a surge in literacy, a stronger civil service, a
vibrant economy, and a more unified Nigeria regardless of ethnic differences. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Things may be bad right now, but they aren’t going
to remain so forever. Not if I have anything to do about it, and not if everyone
also chips in to give our children a nation worthy of respect. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">The typical Nigerian is filled with hope for a
better nation. But again, the typical Nigerian prays for this utopia while
hoping that someone else solves the problem for them. We have done this repeatedly
and it is certainly not working so we need to change things up a bit. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">John F. Kennedy in his famed inaugural speech said,
‘Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you will do for your
country’. Well, I put it to you, what are you, Jemimah, Usman, Jamil, Chukwuemeka,
Adebayo, James, Akpan, Dooshima, willing to do for Nigeria?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">‘A worthy cause’ it has been said by one of Nigeria’s
visionary leaders, ‘chooses you. You do not always get to choose how a cause
worth dying for comes about, because it finds you and then demands the
sacrifice of you’. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Chinua Achebe said in 1967 "Being a Nigerian is abysmally frustrating and unbelievably exciting", and I almost feel the same way every other day. One moment I want to yank my hair out from the roots, and then the very next, I throw myself with reckless abandon at its mirth, joie de vivre and endlessly can-do attitude to everything.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">I do not claim to have it figured out yet, but
I am willing to advocate and to hope that a worthy cause, one
that would demand everything for the benefit of the larger majority finds me, and
that I am willing to avail myself when it does. </span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;"></span><br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">
</span>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Now I ask you, what are you (myself included) willing
to give up for Nigeria’s development?</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
</div>
</span>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Happy Independence to Nigeria, the most
resilient people to ever walk this earth! We deserve a thousand accolades.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;"><u>About Jemimah-Nikky Jates</u></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Jemimah-Nikky Jates is a Public Relations
Consultant- specializing in Strategic Communications planning and management. She
is interested in Development Communications and is an aspiring broadcaster and
presenter of a radio programme <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Abuja
Social Mixx</i>. She writes short stories and feature articles and runs a Human
interest Blog.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Blog site : http:// jemimah-nikky.blogspot.com</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Contact her via email: jtjemimah98@yahoo.com</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Twitter/Instagram: @nikkyjates @abujasociamixx</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-62663648978340992162018-03-15T10:02:00.002+01:002018-03-15T10:02:29.150+01:00BURNING EMBERS<br />
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin-bottom: .2in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">Peter sat beside me on the Chaise lounge in his tastefully
furnished living room, my head resting in the nook of his shoulder as he
absently rubbed his fingers over collarbone. It made me remember why spending
time with him, just the two of us, was one of my favorite moments.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.2in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">All was quiet except for the soft rock music coming from the
Cable radio station. I tilted slightly to the side and glimpsed at his eye
lashes and I thought to myself, ‘oh how many women would kill to have their
natural lashes so full and long’. His chest was bare as usual covered with a
carpet of straight velvety hair. I could never understand why he always
preferred being shirtless, despite the cool breeze from the fan and AC
combined.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.2in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">As I stared intently at the tiny specks of hair that lined all
the way from his chest, downwards and disappeared into the band of his
trousers, I had to swallow before I returned to his face. I half expected him
to catch me ogling him but interestingly I realized that his mind had indeed
traveled far.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.2in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">While I got a slight sense of relief, I also found it quite
weird because we never had such awkward silences. In fact, if there’s anything
I know about this relationship “scratch that, let’s call it situationship” is
the fact that we never lacked what to talk about. So even thought I felt
something unsettling about the silence, I quickly dismissed it, just so
grateful to have escaped the teasing that would have been sure to come.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.2in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">I reassured myself in the fact that Peter was big into
communication and so I felt fairly confident that he would sooner or later tell
me what was on his mind. So I settled back into the sofa and began absent
mindedly stroking the back of his hand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.2in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">A few minutes later, in an almost inaudible voice he asked
“Tinuke, can we be friends?”. With eyes glued on the screen of my phone
catching up on a certain celebrity fight that was ongoing on popular blogs, I
answered with an amused smile on my face “friends? Aren’t we that already”? But
as no response came, I turned to look at him and I noticed the seriousness in
his eyes. “what I mean is” he said, “I want us to be good friends”. At that, I
sidled closer to him and climbed onto his lap and began rubbing my palm across
his cheek, just how I knew he liked it as I quipped, “Oh, you mean like
girlfriend and boyfriend?”. But he stilled my wandering hands and gave me a
puzzled look that made me immediately think “oh wait is he trying to dump me?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.2in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">Well ‘dump’ isn’t the best word to be used here because we
weren’t technically in a relationship. We hung out, we made out a couple of
times but we were never decisive as to what we were doing. “I haven’t been
entirely honest with you T”, he said “and I will come to dislike myself if I
continue being dishonest” he continued. I eyes stared intently at his misty
eyes as he plowed on “I wasn’t truthful with you and even though I know you
never quite asked, I hid it from you the fact that I was seeing someone else”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.2in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">“W-what are you saying Peter, you are seeing who? Since when?” I
stammered as I withdrew my hand from under his. At this point, I could feel the
sound of my pounding heart in my ears, so much it seemed to be buzzing. Then he
responded, “She and I have been dating on and off for 5 years, but we grew
closer in the past 5 months and last week we found out we were expecting a
child together and we intend to keep it and do it right.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.2in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">I felt my body start to shake with anger so I got up, and ran a
hand through my hair as I paced the cool tiled floor pondering on a response. I
could feel the anger rushing in as I turned back to him and screamed, “And you
just decided to tell me now? After all these weeks? What am I to you? A pastime?”
All of a sudden it seemed like my throat was closing up and my breath was
coming in short gasps, so I walked into the guest bathroom, shut the door and
slid to the cold floor as the tears that had filled my eyes began to pour in
torrents. I wept in silence until I heard him rise from the leather seat and
walk towards me as his footsteps grew louder. He tapped at the door twice and
called out “T, please open the door” but I refused to respond. Instead I got up
and sat on the toilet bowl. My butt was freezing and I didn’t want to add
pneumonia to the heart break.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.2in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">I desperately wanted to turn the knob brush pass him and flee
the uncomfortable situation, but at that same time I heard him lean heavily on
the thin flush door that separated us. I immediately felt trapped because
knowing the kind of resolute man he was, if I didn’t come out to talk to him,
then I would have to stay inside the bathroom for ages. So I decided to get up
on unsteady feet, reached for the door and unlocked it. As soon as the bolts released,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">Peter
pushed open the door and I beheld those dark brown eyes misty and I had to
resist the urge to run into his broad chest and sinewy long arms, where I had
always felt safe.<br />
I kept waiting for him to say it was all a joke, but deep down I knew it wasn’t
because I had never seen him more serious. It was then he spoke softly “I will
totally understand if you hate me, but I’m hoping you don’t. I can’t stand
knowing you hate me. I value your friendship and I have come to care a lot
about you”. For a brief moment, all I could dwell on was how ticklish it would
feel if I only pressed my cheek against his broad chest. So instead of giving
in to those instincts, I leaned all my weight on the door to prevent myself
from swooning and pouring myself all over him begging him to take me back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">I
forced myself to speak but words failed me. While seating on the bathroom
floor, I had crafted the worst comebacks that hurt him as bad as he was hurting
me, but staring at him like that, so vulnerable, every well crafted rejoinder
disappeared. I swallowed what felt like a thousand times before I could find
the words to croak out “Peter, I really can’t do this right now, please step
out of the way so I can leave”. He reached out to touch my chin and I flinched
and side stepped him, I saw him recoil his hands as though he had been burned
and I thought to myself ‘that serves your right, heartbreaker!’ he stared at me
through dark painful eyes for a few seconds and then he stepped aside just a
little to let me pass through the crack between him and the door. I left him
standing there while I picked up her purse and car keys from the centre table
and left.<br />
***<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.2in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">Here’s what you need to know, Peter and I’s meeting was very
dramatic. We met at a yard party organized by mutual friends during the summer
holidays. It was one of those who-is-who parties where everyone had a clique
and gathered around in small circles, eating and having a good time. I loved
those scenes because I have a trusted clique that always brought the fun everyday
without fail. Janet,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">Perpetua
and Grace have been my friends since University and we had remained tight
through the years. We were having a good time, chatting away, pointing at guys
we knew and sharing jokes about who was dating who and who had just had a
dramatic breakup.<br />
Somehow I kept feeling like someone was boring a hole into my back, but
whenever I turned around, I wouldn’t find anyone. At some point I began to feel
that I must be hallucinating. Anyway, our friend who organized the party came
over to ask if we were having a good time and I informed him that I wanted more
chicken so he asked me to come with him to the grill so he could hook me up
with some wings.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.2in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">When we got the grill, I noticed a tall, dark and mysterious
looking young man whom I had never seen standing right in front of me waiting
to be served. His shoulders were so broad that I couldn’t even see the grill,
so I thought it would be fun to make faces at his back mimicking his movements.
I stood on tip toes, stuck out my tongue and spread out my wiry hands to appear
as big as him and was hopping left and right. All of a sudden he turned back
and looking at my ridiculous charade, his face broke out in a wry grin. Soon
his pearly white teeth came out to play and he busted out laughing. I was
mortified and turned to walk away with what little dignity I had only for him
to wrap his long fingers around my wrist and pull me back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">He
had gotten the last serving of the BBQ chicken and he was kind to offer me some
which I graciously accepted because I might as well get some recompense after
making a fool of myself, lol. We talked for a bit and he mentioned that he had
been watching me with my friends for a while and was hoping for an opportunity
to talk to me. Aha! I finally knew I wasn’t going crazy. He also mentioned he
had just gotten back to Nigeria a few weeks before and immediately my fences
went up as I quickly filed him under “I Just Got Back demon” and decided it
wasn’t going to be me he’ll use to while away time. But then he told me he had
actually returned to Nigeria with most of his belongings as he was hoping to
settle here having gotten a contract to run trainings for a multinational firm.
Immediately my antenna sprang up and I quickly placed him in the “prospect”
file. We had an amazing time talking and then exchanged numbers and from then
on, became inseparable.<br />
****<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.2in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">Weeks have gone by since that day in December when he dashed all
hopes of happily after with him but I still couldn’t bring myself to hate him.
As I stare at the pre-wedding photo of him and his fiancé showcased on a
popular social blog, I realize that as hard as I have tried, there lingers a
small torch still burning for him. But with any luck, time will quench whatever
ember remains, even as I make an effort to stop torturing myself with thoughts
of what could have been.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">About
Jemimah-Nikky Jates<br />
Jemimah-Nikky Jates is a Public and Media Relations Consultant- specializing in
Strategic Communications and Reputation Management. She is an aspiring
broadcaster and presenter of the radio programme “Abuja Social Mixx”. She
writes short stories and feature articles and runs a Human interest Blog.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 19.95pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;"><br />
Blog site : http:// jemimah-nikky.blogspot.com<br />
Contact her via email: jtjemimah98@yahoo.com<br />
Twitter/Instagram: @nikkyjates @abujasociamixx<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-41694459388893464112018-01-17T10:08:00.000+01:002018-01-17T10:08:27.327+01:00YOUR PVC, YOUR POWER TO TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR DESTINY<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">All Rise...
Distinguished Citizens of the Federal Republic of Nigeria!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<o:p></o:p>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">Oh
how exhilarating it will be to be recognized for who we are and what roles we
play in Nigeria's polity!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7iYb7myFDWE/Wl4F6kcGOEI/AAAAAAAAAzM/ndE3FXuorokzVS2nwZrSRJrMXzaLKr1OgCLcBGAs/s1600/Untitled.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="689" data-original-width="1426" height="309" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7iYb7myFDWE/Wl4F6kcGOEI/AAAAAAAAAzM/ndE3FXuorokzVS2nwZrSRJrMXzaLKr1OgCLcBGAs/s640/Untitled.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">As a child growing
up at the onset of the political dispensation as we have it today, I remember
my mother was an election officer. Being a School Teacher, she was assigned to
one of the polling units in Wuse District, Abuja. It was from her tiny wooden
desk and table where she perched that she dutifully marked the thumbs of voters
to signify that they had casted their votes in the secret ballot box hidden
behind a curtain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">I knew this for sure
because at about midday, I was sent over by my aunt with food in a flask to
trek a few 100 meters to serve my mother her lunch. Half walking and jogging in
the scorching sun, flask bouncing encased in the polythene bag, I hurried on my
way. I remember being amazed by the large crowd huddled around the shade
provided by a big Gmelina tree, under which her royal majesty, my mother and
her colleagues sat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">The crowd was civil,
calm and patient, though I could tell most were hungry because their eyes ogled
when they saw my mother open her flask to dig in. Yet, they waited to perform
their civic duties.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">That was the year
1999, and I remember a few of the presidential candidates vividly. There was
talk about Chief Olu Falae being the preferred candidate for a large section of
the Yoruba nation, while Chief Olusegun Obasanjo (who later won as
substantive Head of State), was the choice of the core North and other
parts of Nigeria. The latter gained such popularity mostly because of his famed
fight against Abacha's authoritarian government and as a result his being
thrown into jail, from where he after his acquittal, ran for office.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">All through the years
and elections that followed, one thing remained a constant; Nigerians always
demanded that their rights be upheld. They demanded to be given equal
opportunities to operate their businesses, to go to school, to aspire for
political positions, to receive the right wages for work done, to have access
to equity and justice and the right to freely choose who to elect into office
without coercion, whether through force, bribes or empty manifestos and
promises.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">But as the elections
for 2003, 2007, 2011, 2015 swung in, I found two things to be true. Half of the
population of voters were more interested in the handouts of rice, wrappers,
umbrellas, brooms, a paltry sum of N2,000 and face caps to sway their votes
than they were about actually exercising their duties. The other half were more
interested in sitting back at their houses unperturbed, watching the
events unfold via the Media.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">I remember in 2007,
the crowd that gathered beneath the trees in the green area that
surrounded my street. There was a horde of voters lining up to receive gifts
from campaign organizers to vote certain people into office. What amazed me was
that on the day of election, less than half of that crowd showed up to cast
their votes. And those who did, consistently bragged about their choice because
they received a bigger gift from the party than the other contesting parties- how sad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">Permit me to
paraphrase from a speech given by USA's former First Lady Michelle Obama in the
follow up of the 2016 presidential campaigns <o:p></o:p>“As
I have said before, the presidency [<i>Power] </i>doesn’t change who you
are, it reveals who you are. And the same thing is true of a Presidential
[National Assembly, Governorship, State Assembly] campaign. So, if a candidate
is erratic and threatening, if a candidate traffics in prejudice, fears and
lies on the trail, if a candidate has no clear plans to implement their goals,
if they disrespect their fellow citizens, including folks who make
extraordinary sacrifices for our country – let me tell you, that is who they
are. That is the kind of president [Leader] they will be. Trust me”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">I absolutely believe
her, and so must everyone. After all, haven't we in this nation been
consistently blindsided with past campaign promises that do not hold water? Or
of deafening silences or ill-timed and insensitive comments that rouse tensions
instead of douse them?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">Do you realize that
without we the voters, the whole process of Democracy is null and void? We are
left with no other option than to get involved or at the very least throw our
collective weight behind those who are brave enough to stand up for equity and
justice, youth and female inclusiveness! If not for any altruistic reason, then
to put an end to the hopelessness, poverty, unemployment, brazen killings,
strike actions and the likes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">I have registered to
vote. I wield my power come 2019. Do you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">Visit: <a href="http://www.inecnigeria.org/?page_id=3085">http://www.inecnigeria.org/?page_id=3085</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: cambria, serif; font-size: 13pt;">for information on
the continuous voter registration and the Registration Area Centres Nation
Wide.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">#QuiteFranklyOurMumuDonDo<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">#OnwardNigeia<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">#Youth</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">#We'reTakingOver2019<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13pt;">I endorse
#NotTooYoungToRun<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-75251195705447615072017-11-17T16:19:00.001+01:002017-11-17T16:23:03.985+01:00Non-DIVA ATTITUDE<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">At some
point (and by that I mean at every given opportunity) in your life I am sure irrespective
of your sex, you’ve heard that women are a basket full of issues. Top among on
the list being 1.) They absolutely hate each other and 2.) They make absolutely
cruel and demanding bosses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oxW7kwV9nxk/Wg77pZdgGoI/AAAAAAAAAsM/x1Z1dQ8LrFIVpKqh2BjPHKzJULejXH_rACLcBGAs/s1600/cropped-District-Diva-Brooke-Obie-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="512" data-original-width="512" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oxW7kwV9nxk/Wg77pZdgGoI/AAAAAAAAAsM/x1Z1dQ8LrFIVpKqh2BjPHKzJULejXH_rACLcBGAs/s320/cropped-District-Diva-Brooke-Obie-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Good Ol’ Google
gives several definitions of a Diva of which I will take two. One defines a
diva as “<i>a self-important person who is
temperamental and difficult to please (typically used of a woman)”</i>. The
second one defines the term as </span><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">“a bitchy woman that must have her way exactly,
or no way at all. Often rude and belittles people, believes that everyone is
beneath her and thinks that she is so much more loved than what she really is. She
is selfish, spoiled and overly dramatic”.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 24px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">I am not writing to analyze women who are textbook cases of these qualities stated above, but to cheer on those who are anything but! </span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Because you see, to not do so would mean that ladies who ought to be a celebrated as Proverbs 31 women will instead be badmouthed as divas.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The earlier definitions are what a Diva shouldn’t be. So let’s go ahead and define who a
diva should be. To me a diva is a principles woman. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She has good grooming<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She is Poised, with no hair out of place<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Her words are seasoned with salt<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She is kind to other women<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She comports herself with decorum<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She is purposeful and focused in her chosen career or field<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She holds a crowd spell bound in rapt attention<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She commands respect<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She is one who doesn’t beat traffic rules</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And finally, one who gives way to other people- especially other
women at a busy road <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I am
delighted to say I had the privilege to meet one of those women, albeit
briefly. My friends and I were heading out to a function and we got to this
really busy road at the heart of town and there was just no way to get through.
Many cars sped past, staring straight ahead and wouldn’t budge nor let us slide
through.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">In fact,
those who dared to look our way only did so condescendingly. And then came this
<i>Diva</i> who without a fuss slowed to a
halt, flashed her light at us and gave us access through. Now that singular act
showed me that there was indeed some hope of saving the woman to woman
friendship dynamics. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I agree that
typically one incident cannot change the world’s perception about how women
treat one another, but one act can cause a rippling effect until there’s a
change that can be felt the world over. I intend to do better, do you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Let’s Make a
Difference One Woman at a Time<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Photo credit<br />
brookeobie.com<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-84642975898780873282017-11-14T17:37:00.000+01:002017-11-14T17:37:07.041+01:00A WANDERER FINDS HER WAY BACK HOME<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-psi_wcJMZ9M/Wgsbfj6uCSI/AAAAAAAAArw/LFbdcAijwkYb-5Isi0WZzGj8COfKth0xwCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_1212.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="579" data-original-width="922" height="250" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-psi_wcJMZ9M/Wgsbfj6uCSI/AAAAAAAAArw/LFbdcAijwkYb-5Isi0WZzGj8COfKth0xwCLcBGAs/s400/IMG_1212.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Boy! Has it been so long since I picked up my pen
from the basket of love to write you this love letter... Lol! I am full of
jokes, if I do say so myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;">But really though, it has been over a year since I
last published a blog. I must say, I am quite embarrassed to admit that I have
left my first love to suffer, while I have been busy chasing other interests.
But as the saying goes, <i>the first step to
repentance is acceptance</i>, and so, I accept that I have been less than
faithful to my dutiful followers who saw the writer in me when I didn’t
and who put up with my musings and comical posts. I am sorry if I do not say “I
love You” often, because I really do.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;">As some of you may know, I have been busy trying
to be a matchmaker and I have had a few successes under my belt, so yaasss, I
am super proud of myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;">The Professional Singles Meet Platform was born
out of a desire to see busy, single professionals -young and old alike- married
according to God’s desire. This has kept me busy, physically, intellectually
and even spiritually, (because people on my platform must network and connect for
a worthwhile relationship by fire and by force, LOL!). Afterall, the holy Bible
says, ‘the weapons of our warfare are not carnal’, so therefore some mighty <i>Rabababa eh </i>must take place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Well, now that we are all caught up, be it quite
briefly, I will like for you all to take a peep at the platform’s site and
social media accounts to see the work I and my team have done and to encourage
and drop suggestions where you can. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Thanks and God bless…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Yours (un) faithful blogger,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Jemimah-Nikky Jates<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Website: </span><a href="http://www.singlesmeet.com.ng/">www.singlesmeet.com.ng</a><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Facebook</span>: <span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Professional Singles Meet<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Instagram: Singlesmeetng</span></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-53218263826421277142016-09-29T14:13:00.000+01:002016-09-29T14:27:45.164+01:00YOUR LAST GOOD DAY <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"></span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">There are several stages to grief we are told</span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Roused out of sleep with the news ‘Alhe is dead fa’</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Oh no, that cannot be true, I thought</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">You had just dropped me a line a few days ago</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">You were going to inspire me to keep fit, nope, that couldn’t be </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">I hurriedly made my way to your house</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Whether it was to confirm or dispel it I wouldn’t know</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">‘Baby, Alhe ta rige ki (she has beat you to death) </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">That was the first thing your mother said to me</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">It wasn't strange for her to say that for we competed fiercely as kids</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Whether at the game of mortal combat or hula hoop</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">I sat outside, beside the swing set </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">It looks eerily like the one we both played on as kids</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">On it today sat swinging a little 4 year old girl dressed in pale pink </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">It could easily have been you</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">With an urge so strong I wanted to ask her to get down</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Could she not see that I was mourning? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Instead I sent a weak smile in her direction </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">As her chirpy voice rang out in squeals of excitement</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Those were always your exact reactions </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">You loved to swing so high till your head went past the poll</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">While you would scream with glee</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">You were always such a burst of sunshine</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">And I thought, Lord, why not wake her up </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">So we can share this reminisce?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">But silence met my request</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Then the flood of tears I had been holding back began a downward torrent</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Oh, this pain. Why must you demand to be felt? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">It was an ordinary day</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">You have plied that road countless times</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">But that was your last day, never to return home</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span class="tgc"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Indeed, </span></span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">there's no
way of knowing </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">That your last good day is indeed</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Your Last Good Day</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">At the time, it is just another good day</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span class="tgc"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">But I have one reassurance</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span class="tgc"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Heaven is all the more joyous with you there</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
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<![endif]--><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">As with
most widely publicized celebrity weddings, a popular socialite got hitched a
while back, and everybody had an opinion about her choice of husband. Many
thought since it was apparent that she earned a lot, the guy was probably with
her only because of her money or at the very least it was an added incentive
for him being with her. Others thought he didn’t seem like a guy who would care
about such things like an account statement that rang like a phone number. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">While everyone
is entitled to their opinion, one wonders if it’s true that many guys care too
much about how much their prospective woman earns or owns when making their
decision as to whether or not to date her or to marry her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">It is not farfetched
to say that many women are excelling above their male peers today, whether it is
academically, intellectually, professionally or in other wise. There has been a
massive outcry for the girl child/woman to develop themselves and vast
opportunities are being provided to ensure that happens. It is little wonder
that you find female students topping the best 5% in their respective courses.
This then goes to translate to their getting great job opportunities and
earning quite high pays. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">With this
new position comes the elevated lifestyle. She pays her rent, buys her own car,
purchases a piece of land, and develops it. Now when a woman can do all these
for herself, this then begs the question, doesn’t this qualify her to also
decide to step up to a guy and ask him out? Does her doing so make her a pariah
of sorts? Does that effrontery calls for her degrading? Shouldn’t that make her
respected instead for growing a pair*? </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I carried
out a little recon on my own and I asked a guy this question the other day while
we were having a discussion and I must say I was impressed by his take on this.
Since he sees himself as a quintessential and social 21<sup>st</sup> century
man, he believes and advocates for equality between men and women and so he thought it was
admirable that a woman thinks so highly of herself that she can shirk all the
trappings of acceptable woman behavior and approach a guy. To him, he feels it
requires a lot of courage to ask anybody out. Being a guy, he can identify with
the hours and days of preparation it takes a guy to study a girl he likes, come
up with suitable drop lines, and then the courage to approach her. So to him,
he gives any woman the thumbs up who can go through that preparations and still
risk being let down. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I asked another
guy whom I thought a great liberal what he thought of this, but to my surprise
he didn’t share the other’s sentiment. To him, he claims being very traditional
at heart when it comes to men-women relationships and believes it should only
be the man who has to do all the work at the onset. To woo, to flatter, to buy
presents etc. He thinks if any woman is brazen enough to step up to him that
would only intimidate him instead of gaining his admiration. In his words “I would
totally become suspicious. I would think she has other ulterior motives and designs
on me. Like there’s certainly way more than meets the eyes.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Even though
I expected more from him, would I say I was disappointed to hear that? Not exactly.
Because in reality, can we honestly blame him? Many of us grew up in societies
where a man is in charge. And even if a girl fancies a guy, she would rather
die in silence that to approach him. I am of the opinion that whatever’s good for the Goose is good for the Gander, hence it doesn’t matter who makes the
first move. But I know many young women who would rather watch idly by as the
object of their desire is carted away by someone else just because they cannot
bring themselves to speak up.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Here’s
something curious though, have you noticed that the next question guys ask
women these days after what her name is, is “what do you do?”. In fact, one
time my friend was at this barbecue party where they all sat around this long
table and the guy who happened to be next to her didn’t even bother to ask her
name but jumped straight to “so, what do you do?”. She straight-faced told him
she was a prostitute and then sarcastically asked him what he’d do now armed
with that information. He quietly skulked away. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">You see,
guys these days want to know what you do to judge if you’re worthy of their
time right? They throw around words like ‘‘I don’t want any woman who is a liability,
who is unable to lend me financial support when the chips are down’’, ‘‘I can’t
date any girl who can’t return the favour and get me nice presents at Valentine
or my birthday’’ etc. And yet when a lady who holds her own approaches him, asks
what he does, gauges his status side by side hers, she comes off as creepy.
Lol. Am i the only one reading the irony in this?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">So let’s assume
a girl decides to wait for a random guy (probably even a loser) to come toast her,
where is the guarantee that he would do right by her? And when he messes up she
ends up beating herself up just cause she thought by his approaching her, it
means she meant something to him but apparently she didn’t. Wouldn’t you rather
feel better knowing that you chose a man for yourself and even if things do not
work out at least you put yourself out there right? At least in this case, you
have the right to be the designer of your own destiny. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">If men
expect women to bring something to the table, to be smart, hardworking, and to
be an achiever, then so what if she makes the first move? Shouldn’t they be
willing to accept that in addition to her qualifications she is entitled to
have a mind of her own and have the liberty to make her own choices? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">So guys,
when a lady makes an honest move on you, before you feel emasculated or threatened
by her guts, first assess yourself and see if you two level up hmm? And I bet
if you believe you do, you will feel honored and not intimidated.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Photo credit: IG </span></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-80443621166848757342016-06-30T15:38:00.001+01:002016-06-30T15:38:39.405+01:00OF AFRICANS AND THEIR GAIT<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q69J7KDLsQQ/V3UumGDkTtI/AAAAAAAAAmU/acwOB89t2dcEBxRr37lFHGkDpAtwv1Q1wCLcB/s1600/african-women-walking-with-boy-accra-ghana-africa-e6nnpw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q69J7KDLsQQ/V3UumGDkTtI/AAAAAAAAAmU/acwOB89t2dcEBxRr37lFHGkDpAtwv1Q1wCLcB/s320/african-women-walking-with-boy-accra-ghana-africa-e6nnpw.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
was a stubborn child growing up, but that goes without saying. And I remember
as kids we would sneak up behind women as they walked and mimic their walking
step, choreographing it with the tune “seventeen, eighteen , nineteen, zabadam”.
And usually these mommies will chase us with canes and we will run away laughing,
till our stomachs hurt. It was all mindless fun to us.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">But
then the other day, as I was walking past my friends, unbeknownst to me, I
heard them burst into laughter. When I inquired about their jest, they told me
I was walking like one of those mommies we used to jest as kids. It was funny
to me also, because I had assumed I was strutting in such a way that would
rival Naomi Campbell on the runway. But it turns out, I was just so much an
African and no matter how much I try to do the catwalk, my ‘Africanness’ exudes
even through my walking step. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">So
I took out time to notice the form, pace and gait of people as they walk past. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I bet some found my staring creepy, but then again
I couldn’t walk up to everyone and explain to them that I was only conducting a
research. Now this is what I deduced. As girls, we walked with a spring in our
steps, like a bouncy, leaping walk, mainly because we were wafer thin. But as
we grew older and filled out our curves, our steps were altered a bit. No more
jumpy walk like we did as kids, but we still walked with speed as much as our
young bodies could carry. However, filling out more as women, the hips, the
buttocks and breasts all culminate into holding us back as we walk. We lose the
spring and jump to our steps and replace it with a slower, short paced walk
that undeniably brings the wiggle to our steps.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Being
Africans and bountifully endowed with these, I think it has contributed indubitably
to our uniqueness. We lack the briskness of Europeans, Arabians and other ethnicities.
And this gait of ours goes as far as inflecting how we behave, act, and our
general behavior and attitude towards things and people. An African is
unhurried in pace, hence when we walk someone who’s leaving a place to another
place, we tarry long while we walk and catch up on some last moment gist before
we part. Same applies to when you visit someone at their house, we linger over
food, mainly because we want to hold meaningful conversations. We ask about each
other’s welfare because we really care to know. And then we also lend our ears
for as long as necessary to listen to them in their unhurriedly response, unburden
their hearts. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">This
distinguishes us as a race. We care enough to happily share our time with others
even if only to listen to their babble. We aren’t too time conscious that we
snuff out one’s flow just because we need to hurry somewhere. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">An
upside of our unhurried gait also shows how we aren’t prone to panic attacks
and the likes. We are conscious of our environment and very much in tune with
it in that we anticipate occurrences and hence aren’t easily spooked. Though I
have found we can only enjoy such solitude in the suburbs now seeing as the city
has been taken over by the hurried chaotic speed of the western world.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">As
usual, a cause and effect relationship ensues, in that the longer we take strutting
and wiggling before we get to where we ought to be, the more time we lose. Hence,
why it is aptly tagged <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘African Time’. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
once read somewhere, that the speed in one’s walking step, determine the mental
alertness and resourcefulness of one’s mind. For instance, have you ever taken
note of the Chinese and how they walk so briskly? Maybe this contributes to how
fit they appear and probably the improved quality of their thoughts which is
quickly making them the greatest country in technological advancement.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">But
you see, we are an unhurried people, so much that our walking style says it
all. This therefore is a bane to a large number of us, as we have the tendency
of approaching life </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">in </span>much the same way. We easily let go of things that appear
stressful, and in similar fashion, we move our focus and attention to other mundane
things.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Photocredit: African tribal women alamy.com </span></div>
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-35552788946428471102016-04-14T17:53:00.001+01:002016-04-14T17:53:18.091+01:00WHAT’S IN A BUILDING?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-P8Nf1xSRR_U/Vw_IB5IurFI/AAAAAAAAAl0/874cxD9cPzcmCHg-WS3IfKBAoU_ACE_3QCLcB/s1600/Green_building_concept.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-P8Nf1xSRR_U/Vw_IB5IurFI/AAAAAAAAAl0/874cxD9cPzcmCHg-WS3IfKBAoU_ACE_3QCLcB/s320/Green_building_concept.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For years I have had this recurring thought in my head about
structures. Not so much what materials go into the making of the building, nor the aesthetics of
it or the lack thereof, or even the form its facades take. But I find that every time I drive
through or take a stroll on the streets of this city that is dear to me, I
ponder more interestingly on the people who live in them. Is it a house? What
kind of people would I find in there? If it is an ostentatious structure, I
would wonder, did they grow up in such opulence? Or did they suddenly come into
wealth and amass property? Are they mere squatters within the premises pending
when the real owners return for their house? </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I could also ponder, is it an office? What do they do in
there? Is it an IT firm? A retail outlet? Or a warehouse? On and on my mind
wanders… on days I give my imagination free reign, I would create whole personalities
for those people. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There was a small bungalow house a few streets away from the house
I grew up in, and every time my sister and I walked past it, we would call it ‘the
haunted house’. Inspired by the movies we watched growing up, like Casper the
friendly Ghost, Home Alone, and the likes, I would create an entire story
around the house in my mind. I imagined a close knit family of maybe five,
living a secluded life, without socialising much. I would assume they were
probably members of one of those houses of worship that shrouded itself in
mystery and possibly diabolism. While this was all a creation of my mind, every time I walked past it, I found my steps hastening while I chanted ‘The Blood
of Jesus’ in my head. Lol!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Across the road from that street was a tall 6 storey building
painted in a bright imposing white colour. Whenever my tiny child-like legs
walked past it, I would notice a halogen light beam in my direction and then
when I had walked past, it would go off. Those were years before I understood
motion sensors and the likes and so I would keep wondering why they couldn’t
just fix their light and stop it from going off and on. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One afternoon I walked past it and I noticed the gate opened
electronically for an SUV to drive out and the gate again shut itself and I
remember dashing home to tell my siblings what I had found. Looking back, I
remember they looked at me quite weirdly, like ‘duh, of course it’s electronic’
and my little brain was still unable to discern it. So I would search for
errands that would take me around there so I could peer around the structure
for any sign that would highlight what they did in there. After watching some
of the James Bond series and Terminator, I decided that inside that building,
they must be running a highly classified covert operation, hence the security
and lack of any signpost outside the building.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For many years, there was this house I passed by on the way
to my village which I called ‘Aeroplane house’. In case you were wondering why
that tag, well you see, that house was probably by far one of the ugliest
houses I had ever seen. It was this rundown and shabby looking one storey
building perched on a hill. But what made it stand out was this design of a large
concrete aeroplane at the top of it. I could only imagine that since the owner
or maybe the architect went through so much effort to perch on it an airplane that seemed to be crushing the house into the ground, the structure must
mean a lot to him. So I spun my wheel of imagination and painted an identity
for the owner. To me, the house must have been owned by a pilot who had a huge
obsession for airplanes who maybe died or became bankrupt and so couldn’t complete
the structure. Hahaha.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You would think after I grew up I stopped right? But no, I
still find myself staring at structures. However, with the confidence that age brings,
I would usually stop by, walk up to the gate and ask the security what they did
there. And whenever I am unable to do so, I would look for a taxi driver around
there and ask him what he thinks the structure is about. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A few of the structures that have preoccupied my mind in the
past few years is the Igbinedion house or shall I call it estate or maybe it is
a palace at Maitama. The compound encased within it a couple of buildings with
two huge sculpted lions standing guard within it speak of wealth, power, and
royalty. Some days I would wonder whether it was owned by the entire Igbinedion family or maybe just the one. From the outside it looks almost sad and uninhabited,
and I imagine that for a huge structure such as this, there was probably a time
when a large family of maybe twenty children lived within the walls and
frolicked day and night. I imagined myself living within those walls. I would
probably have 10 children, just so I can fill that place up with laughter and
tiny feet running around. Anything short of that will be putting to waste such
a beaut.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Another structure that always takes my breath away is the
ostentatious building right on the entrance of Gana street, adjacent to the
Hilton. In my imaginings, it is a fortress, built by a rich and powerful king
who lives alone with his princess daughters at the towers above. They have
hundreds of servants who attend to their needs, with a garden, a horse stable and
a zoo out back. I imagine the gallant sculpted horses, Lions </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">and
</span>elephants which are poised as monuments around the building, decorate it during the day, but then come
alive at night and wage wars against the enemies of their master. And then I
imagine myself as one of the princesses, living up in that ivory tower looking
down on the peasants in the streets scrambling to make a living. Lol.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Z1Pn8TmIw3c/Vw_IWTV1luI/AAAAAAAAAl4/ydak6K9IOp0i5XZK26NkfXSnjBY_eyZ1QCLcB/s1600/main-qimg-fc6a99f6dc68e512919ea91266934456.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Z1Pn8TmIw3c/Vw_IWTV1luI/AAAAAAAAAl4/ydak6K9IOp0i5XZK26NkfXSnjBY_eyZ1QCLcB/s320/main-qimg-fc6a99f6dc68e512919ea91266934456.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I had often thought that a house or a building should
represent even in the tiniest of ways, the identity, style, or even what inspires
the owner. I would find it totally confusing if a house takes the shape of a
ship and yet is owned by a pilot. Or a dingy unkempt house is owned by an
architect. Or a man who lives alone and in seclusion chooses to build and live
in a mansion with 13 rooms and 15 baths. But then again, these are just the ramblings of a weird mind. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I wonder though, does anyone else think similar thoughts as I do? </span><br />
<br />
<br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Photocredits<br />
1. Conservative Energy Future.com<br />
2. Constructionqueries.wordpress.com</div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I watched in
awe Wendy Williams’ interview with a certain LGBTQ lady who had been awarded or
I guess been rated as among the most powerful women in a top Worldwide magazine
(Pardon the scantiness of information. Much as I tried, Google couldn’t furnish
me with those details). When Wendy asked her how she felt being conferred such
an honor, her response impressed me so much. She said something in the lines of
‘‘so glad I’m being thought of as powerful, than merely beautiful’’.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">In this day
and age where everyone is obsessed with the perfect makeup, the best designer
clothing, a big fat booty, an itty bitty tiny waist, a high number of likes on
Instagram and SnapChat, it pains me that not many women bother about developing
themselves intellectually.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Many people
I find guzzle down complements, they bask in the knowledge that they are considered
beautiful, glamorous and stylish rather than being referred to as intelligent,
smart, business savvy, or entrepreneurs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And some who may in passing enjoy being called sharp, their be all and
end all is first to be reassured that their physical attributes are noted,
admired, and above all, stated.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">For really
hot people, they almost always get anything they want without much work. Seeing
as people always fall over themselves to please them, they never realize that
some people have to claw and inch their way up into the positions they take for
granted.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">As with
every analogy there is always a deviant case. There are people who are gorgeous,
smart to the T, and yet work extremely hard. In fact, I know a certain young
lady who asked a friend who is a recruiter to help find her a job and his
response was, ‘why do you need a job? After all you’re already pretty’. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Such unguarded statements make even go-getting
pretty girls to become unambitious.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">If these
women who are doubly blessed- being both pretty and hardworking, ask someone for
help in starting up a business, they are most likely to get a response like ‘‘but
you’re pretty, why do you need this job?’’.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Have you
heard of cases where classmates gossip and make snide comments about pretty
girls who perform exceptionally well in school? You see, people cannot
comprehend why anybody can be pretty, fashionable and yet score high in tests
and examinations. So that means there must be a palm they are greasing to get
ahead. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Now, this
is the cross that overly gorgeous people need to bear, if you are totally
pretty, it means you have to work extra to prove your mettle. People do not
always consider physically stunning people as intelligent and can one fault
them? Because a certain desire to put so much fuss in the way you appear makes
people think you aren’t cut out for hard work. So intelligent and gorgeous
people are forced to either downplay their gorgeousness or work extra hard that
their intelligence over shadows the outward comeliness.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I am not
one to advice anyone to downplay their beauty; it is God’s gift to you. However,
do not think your physical look is your only bargaining chip, because it could
be both your blessing and your curse. So don’t be afraid to have some depth or
to have a personality. Some people think they are too good looking to bother
having a personality. So they wasp through life hitched onto the complements
and praises showered on them by others. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Beauty is
said to be only skin deep. Even though society makes it seem as though once you
are pretty you have attained something valuable, I urge that you not be afraid
to have a strong opinion about things and have the courage to speak up for
them. Importantly, do not be afraid of being known as smart and intelligent it
is far more important than being merely beautiful. Beauty does not get you a
Nobel Prize for Peace, Literature, and advancement in Physics, Genetics or Engineering.</span></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-82326771173470855772016-01-31T14:05:00.001+01:002016-01-31T14:05:25.380+01:00DEALING WITH BAD CREDIT FRIENDS<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The
other day, I received a phone call from a friend whom I hadn’t spoken to in a
while. With this being an era of social media, she and I mostly only chat on media
platforms. So assuming she was calling to say hey and keep in touch, I quickly
answered the call, with the certainty that it was going to be brief call. In
retrospect, I would have left it unanswered and waited till I was in a more comfortable
place to talk at length before returning the call. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Well
they say hind sight is 20/20 don’t they? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Turned out to be a very lengthy call as my
friend was calling to complain about another mutual friend with whom she had
had a business dealing with. Being her trusting self, she had handed over a sum
of money to this friend to help pay for certain items she wanted for her shop
but couldn’t spare the time to go herself. This friend was only supposed to pick
up this cash from her house and pass it on to a vendor whom he had introduced
her to and who lived close to him. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">According
to her, he had offered to help since it wasn’t going to of any inconvenience to
him. However, after 3 months he still hadn’t given the money to the person it
was meant for and every day she calls, he came up with one excuse or the other.
The vendor wasn’t around; he’s been sick and out of the country for treatment; he
lost a family relation and went to his village; his money is tied up somewhere…
on and on this went on until he stopped taking her calls.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br />
She reached out to some of his friends to talk to him on her behalf. But when
they reported back to her, he claimed not to have ever taken her money nor been
involved in any business dealing with her. This left her hurt. Not only because
of the huge dent the loss of that money created in her finances, but also
because she been grossly mistaking in trusting someone whom she considered a
friend. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Her
story isn’t unique to her alone; many of us have been swindled by people. And I
wished I had all the time to truly share with her my honest opinion, but
because I was in a public place I could only give advice that was socially appropriate.
Many of us have been swindled before. But I believe that the disappointments
that hurt the most are from the ones we thought to be our friends. Worst still
is when these people who seem so genuine come to you asking for loans to help
at a particularly tight period. One thing I picked up a long time ago is never
to hand out any amount of money that you cannot forfeit to that person. But we
are human, and so when people ask for assistance, we cannot but help out even
if it isn’t financially smart for us to do so. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">People
involved in business I believe suffer most with such bad credit friends. You
feel safer selling on credit to friends because you have some degree of trust
for them, so when they turn around and owe you for months un-end, I can only
Imagine the anger and hurt. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
came up with some ways to spot bad credit friends that I hope will help someone
out there as it has helped me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">First,
they always make promises. Be wary of people who are always eager to run their
mouths off. They will use the life of their mother to swear to you when they
come to borrow and buy stuff on credit, promising to pay up next week or the
very next day. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Second,
be suspicious of friends whose source of income you do not know for sure. It is
easy to judge people by the way they appear, but just because they look good,
doesn’t always mean they earn that well. For all you know, they are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">swagging</i> off monies they borrowed off
other people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Third,
accept with a pint of salt people who always act as though the money they are
asking from you is nothing at all compared to what they have. It is always easy
to borrow 50k to someone who brags about going to the US for vacation every 4
months or someone who always carries a designer purse. But if that person was
as loaded and connected as they claim to be, why do they need to borrow from
someone else? So be suspicious!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Fourthly,
this is perhaps the trickiest. People who have borrowed from you before and
always paid back. It is so much easier to lend money to people like this
because they have been tried in the past and they fulfilled their promise.
People like this know just as you do, that it will be easier for you to trust
them because they had never failed in the past, so they will play on your
intelligence. If the first time they borrowed 20k and paid back within a week,
the second time they borrow 40k and pay within one month, the third time they
come, they will ask for 50k promising to pay in 2 weeks. Since you know they
had always paid back, you will gladly be willing to help. But that’s where they
get you. 6 months later they still haven’t paid. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">They
see you every day, laugh and pretend like nothing’s up. And you are too modest
to ask them, because you believe they are bigger than the amount they borrowed
from you so maybe things are a bit too tight. But whenever you see them they
always have something new, they eat at the choicest restaurants and buy drinks
at the club, yet they still owe.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">One
thing I have learnt is that not everybody is as kind and trusting as you are.
In fact, people are banking on this kindness of yours to cheat you. They are
also banking on the friendship you two share because they are certain that for
the sake of friendship you will not call the police on their ass. Let me
reiterate one life fact to you, if you cannot forfeit a certain amount of money
to someone, do not borrow such an amount of money to anyone who isn’t family or
whom you do not have a sure way of getting your money back from. A word, they
say is enough for the wise.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
will love if you can share how you manage bad debtors…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">And if you're a serial debtor reading this, change my brother my sister, biko! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-11156854295766905582016-01-25T11:29:00.002+01:002016-01-25T11:29:44.039+01:00IF SHE IS SIDE CHICK
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><u><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Note for readers.</span></u><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hello my lovelies, it has been eons since i posted here. While i
apologise for that break, i want you all to know that i had not for a second
forgotten about you; i had just been preoccupied with other things. I wrote
many articles but stashed them in a folder and never got around to posting, so
this is one of many articles that were just lying idle. I wrote this some months
back and going through it right now, i found it so hilarious that i had to share. Please
read, comment and contribute your opinion on this. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bless up,</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Jemimah-Nikky Jates<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You cannot get jealous when you see
her with another man. You haven’t earned that right. Make her main chick and
then, only then can you enjoy such privilege. Yup, that’s a privilege.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You cannot ask her to cook for you.
Only main dudes get to eat that special jollof rice.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You cannot go through her phone.
What did you keep there that you are looking for? Whether accidentally or
purposefully, Nope you cannot.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You cannot answer her calls in her
absence.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You cannot show up at her house
unannounced. What were you expecting? That she will stay home, in ragged sweats
and undone hair pining after you?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You cannot ask her to help wash
your clothes. Nope nope nope. Get a laundry man or please wait for madam to come
and let her wash it for you.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You have to spend on her. Why else
is she with you? You won’t make her official chick and you still won’t spend on
her? Dem follow you from village abi na craze dey worry you? Spend spend spend.
At least if she can’t unburden her heart to you, she can splurge on a new purse
that will take her mind off.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">8.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You dare not call or refer to her
as a gold digger. If she is a gold digger what does that make you? Mr. I want to
burn my candle at both ends?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Watching
her leave was probably one of the hardest things I’d ever done. I wanted to
drag her back and kiss her thoroughly again, but I didn’t want her to feel
cornered into spending the night with me, it had to be her own decision. I walked
into my room, checked my phone, saw missed calls from Anna, and immediately
rang her back. I apologized for not taking her calls earlier and told her I was
meeting with my company’s rep at the lounge and decided to have a few drinks. Little
did I know that that would be the beginning of weeks of lying. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It
seemed like eons while I waited for Tina to return. I glanced at my wristwatch
every few seconds and listened intently for activities coming from outside my
door. Sitting at the side of the bed, I pulled off my loafers, grabbed the TV
remote from the bedside table and flicked on the TV. I turned down the volume
and reached for a can of beer from the mini bar. Just then there was a gentle
knock on my door, I dropped the can on the dresser and walked across the room
to open the door. There she was, face washed clean of makeup, in pajama
bottoms, a tank top and a robe hanging open. I smiled and let her in. I hugged
her to me as soon as I shut the door and drank in the fresh scent of vanilla
and I figured she must have had a shower. Immediately, I felt bad that I hadn’t
bothered with a wash. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">We
sat down side by side on the bed, and I handed her a fizzy drink while we munched
on some gummy bears and shared a chocolate bar from the minibar. Tracks from <i>Songs of Innocence</i>, the latest U2’s
album were playing quietly from the iTunes folder on my laptop that was on the reading
table. We shared some jokes and she got up to make this really cute imitation at
the way our boss walks that got me laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes.
That’s typical of Tina, she always knew how to make me laugh. Out of the blue I
blurted out “so tell me about any guys in your life that I should be jealous
of” immediately I said it I almost regretted it. Half of me was hoping she
would say she was seeing someone, maybe it will make the guilt I felt slightly
bearable. And the other half of me cringed at another guy laughing at her
jokes, being amused by her goofiness and worst, touching her in ways I
desperately wanted to. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Somewhat
to my relief, she took a sip from her soda can with her other hand on her hips
as she answered casually. “Well there’s Tunji or rather there was” she said and
left it at that. My curiosity got the best of me and I prodded “so what
happened there?” so she grudgingly continued. “We were together about a year
but he got a job with the University in the UK where he had completed his Master’s
degree and so left some months ago. So the relationship kind of fizzled out since
he hadn’t hinted at the possibility of the relationship leading anywhere”. I
watched her face as something akin to sadness flashed even as she quickly shrugged
it off. I wanted to do everything in my power to make that pain I had glimpsed never
return. “Come here” i said to her, patting the bed beside where I was sitting.
She walked over gently and sat down. I draped my arm over her shoulder and placed
slow kisses on her temples and her cheeks until I felt her smile under my lips.
I moved to her lips and nibbled gently and she soon began to kiss me back. We laid
back on the bed side by side with our feet still on the floor as we kept kissing
for what seemed like hours. I soon felt her slow down and begin to dose off and
so I pulled her up on the bed, and then dragged the cover over her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I
sat up beside her, leaning on the headboard watching her chest rise and fall
with each breath, amazed at how beautiful she looked asleep, with the corners
of her lips curved slightly as though in a smile. And all of a sudden it struck
me at how much I wanted to watch her sleep like this beside me every night. I
wanted to wake up to her every morning. I wanted to have her eyes flick open
and find me watching her sleep. I wanted to kiss her every day, hear her high
pitch laugh that always warmed my heart. I wanted to watch her try to give me
that fake small smile she usually puts up for others and then tickle her until
she bursts out in that genuine smile she only gives a select few. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The
thoughts in my head almost made me reach out to kiss her awake and then make love
to her all night long. But instead, i got out of bed, rummaged through my box till
I found some sweat pants and running shoes which I pulled on and sneaked out to
the 24 hour gym at the ground floor. Glad to see a trainer in sight, I took off
my T-shirt, leaving only the under singlet inside and headed towards the
weights. But on closer inspection of the night shift trainer, I noticed he
looked quite exhausted. So instead, I requested for some boxing gloves and went
on a rampage on the punching bags until my knot in my heart uncurled and I had
worked up a sweat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I
showered in the gym to avoid waking her up when I returned and found one of
those soft padding bedroom shoes to wear. Back in my room, I quietly let myself
in, undressed and then climbed into bed with her. While I tried to pull the
cover over me, she stirred and turned her back towards me. So I moved in closer
to her until her back was a slight whisper from touching my chest and I placed
my hand over her hips gently still trying not to rouse her. But she sidled even
more closely till we were fused together so perfectly I didn’t know where my
legs ended or where hers began. Our
breathing matched as though we drew in air and released at the same tempo. I
never remembered being so much at peace.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Knowing
the end from the beginning didn’t help here. As hard as i tried to protect my
heart from falling, I fell for her without even knowing when. And having her in
my arms right now felt like home. And I
thought to myself, maybe she is my soul mate, and for the first time that I could
remember, my well-ordered life had been turned upside down. And I began to
think that running away never felt this welcomed. Is it possible to leave
everything and everyone behind and just run? Maybe we could move to Australia
and join a hitch hiking community? Those beautiful images lulled me to sleep
with a smile on my face. I would deal
with life’s woes when tomorrow comes. But right now all I wanted to focus on
was Tina and I on a beach somewhere far away. Yet a creeping thought plagued my
mind, and I kept thinking- another place another time, we would make the perfect
couple, but soul mates don’t always make life partners, do they?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-46750919779714426982015-10-26T15:04:00.002+01:002015-10-26T15:08:46.306+01:00ANOTHER PLACE, ANOTHER TIME<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I
have often heard that there is a surreal feeling that comes with being in love.
It feels like nobody but yourself can understand how that feels, unless of course
you are lucky enough to have someone to share that feeling with, maybe only then will
you feel understood. But many a time, one finds that requited love is a tall
order. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">At
the middle of last year, months before my 30<sup>th</sup> birthday I could have
sworn I had everything figured out. I had asked my girlfriend of 4 years to
marry me and she had agreed. Even though we had broken up off and on within the
last year, we both knew we cared a lot for each other and if everything went
well, we would wed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Our
families had grown close because of our relationship and every now and then my
mother in her typical sober yet firm tone will ask me “when will you make an
honorable woman out of Anna and marry her?” and I would come up with one excuse
or another like “Mommy, Anna wants to round up her Masters before she gets
married” or “I’m looking to get this promotion at work that will mean I will be
traveling a lot, and I don’t want to marry a young wife and leave her all alone
while I traipse around the world”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">That
will usually hush her up (for a while at least), while I drum up more excuses
when the issue is again raised at a latter date. I knew her desire was to see
me wedded, being the last born and the only one still single of her 5 children.
Months earlier my twin sister and the only girl had gotten wedded and now all
eyes were set on me, anticipating when I will start a home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">My
culture isn’t known to hammer the issue of marriage to men, because it is
expected that a man must be fully able to take care of the costs for a wedding
and setting up a home before he marries. But my mother’s often romantic side always
had a bearing in the way she raised us and her constant prodding that we get
married as soon as we are able to find someone special. Well, in this case, I seemed
to be the one dragging even though I began dating Anna, long before two of my elder
ones met their now spouses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">With
my new status upgraded from single, to engaged, and a new promotion that sent
me to start up a new company branch in Lokoja all was going really well as Anna
and I had begun mapping out plans on when to schedule a formal introduction.
That was until I met Tina at the new office I had been posted to. She was the
Human Resource person who got the contract to oversee the hiring of the new
staff and the setting up of the management team.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">We hit
it off immediately we met even though we didn’t really have much in common as
per language, places we schooled etc. But somehow, ours was like a connection
of kindred spirits. We went out for drinks with the rest of the management team
at the close of the first week as most of us were new in town and had been
transferred from the firms various offices nationwide. Tina and I became inseparable
during the first few weeks. It was almost as though we had known each other
forever and even though we met every day at work, I felt almost incomplete
until I’d sent her a message every other night to wish her a goodnight before I
go to sleep. With Tina, it felt like we had been friends our whole lives. As
expected, Anna and I’s relationship began to suffer some strain which we
attributed to stress from planning a wedding, but I knew otherwise. Since my
car hadn’t arrived from Lagos, Tina in her usual caring fashion was so benevolent
to pick me up on her way to the office every now and then. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A
week ago, the zonal office at Abuja called for a meeting with all heads of the
North central branches so Tina and I were scheduled to be driven down by the
company driver, she being the HR and I the Branch Manager. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Upon
arrival, we found we had been set up in this swanky new hotel at Adetokunbo
Ademola crescent. At the reception, the concierge handed over our room keys and
luggage to the bellboy who led us to our rooms. While we walked down the
corridor, we agreed to freshen up and meet up downstairs at the hotel roof top
lounge for drinks. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Upon
reaching our suites, to our amazement we found we were across each other. Inside
my room, I laid down for a few minutes, sent out messages to Anna to let her know
I had arrived safely and then to the contact person to arrange logistics and
materials for the meeting slated the next day in the afternoon. After which, I
took a cold shower, dressed in casual jeans, a polo t-shirt and loafers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I
arrived at the lounge a few minutes to 7, sat at a corner booth and decided to
wait until Tina arrives before I make an order. My eyes were fixed on the TV which
was tuned on to a music channel and I didn’t notice Tina arrive until she was
at the booth. She was dressed in flay wrap dress and her hair was pulled back
in a ponytail. While I took in her appearance in, she sidled beside me and got
comfortable on the sofa. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">3
Hours later, and 2 glasses of long island iced tea down, I immediately felt a
strong feeling to lean into her and plant a kiss on her lips, but somehow, I
held myself back. I settled for holding her hand or placing an absent hand on
her thigh and I was grateful she didn’t withdraw it. We talked about
everything, school experiences, family, favorite songs, colours, and animals. To
my surprise I found out that she too loved dogs as I did. So naturally, our
next conversations were preoccupied with talks bordering on breed of dogs and
ways we had tried to hypnotize them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The
time was 10pm and so we decided it was wise to leave the bar and get some rest.
I clasped her hands as we walked out of the bar and into the elevator, partly
because I thought she wouldn’t mind the extra support and also because I just enjoyed
being in close contact with her. Obviously a little tipsy, as soon as the
elevator doors closed, we reached for each other in a rushed hungry kiss. We
kissed for a few seconds before the elevator bell dinged to signal we had
arrived at our floor. We exchanged a brief nervous laugh as the doors opened
and there was a couple with their five/six year old child waiting outside. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Sidling
past them we walked down the corridor to our rooms and as Tina fished out her
key card from her pocket, I reached for her again. Putting my hands on her arm,
I turned her to me and proceeded really slowly to bring my head down towards
hers, giving her time to turn down the kiss if she wanted to. Somewhere in my
mind, I was hoping she would but she didn’t. She melted into my arms and
holding her head in place, we kissed for what seemed like forever. When we came
up for air, I asked “do you wanna come inside?” I tilted my head towards my
room. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She
shook her head, indicating she didn't want to and
said “I really don’t think that’s a good idea”. I think she saw the
disappointment in my eyes and so she quickly added “We have a busy day tomorrow”.
And I told her “our meeting is not till 1pm, so we’ve got a lot of time”. She again
added “well then, don’t you think we ought to take <i>this</i> slow?” putting emphasis on the word ‘this’. Sensing her
apprehension, I quickly prodded “hey, we don’t have to do anything you’re
uncomfortable with. I know you’re not really sleepy and neither am I, so I just
wanted us to talk some more”. And in that moment, it struck me that I was in
fact being totally honest. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Of
course I was hugely attracted to her, the beginning of a boner in my pants was
evident of that, but at that moment, all I wanted was to at most just lay with
her in my arms all night. I guess, somehow she believed me and dragged out a
response “o--kay, but i need to reply some messages in my room first and clean
off my make up“. I almost made cartwheels across the expanse of the corridor at
her reply but managed a slight nod of my head and relied “sure. May i?” I said
gesturing at the key card she had clutched in her left hand, she smiled in acquiescence
as I took the key from her, slotted it in to unlock the door and then placed it
back in her hands while I held open the door for her to step in...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">*To be continued*</span></div>
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-89106548542718936132015-08-14T20:35:00.000+01:002015-08-14T20:35:09.948+01:00HANDLING RUN-INS WITH THE EX<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">My friend called on a Saturday afternoon to fill me in on
what had just happened to her minutes earlier. She was at a wedding ceremony when
she unexpectedly ran into her Ex and his mother. I should mention that, she had
dated this guy for more than 2 years and was sure he was the one. In fact, she
was so convinced that this was ‘it’, that she had begun to secretly make a
wedding list in her head. Only for the guy’s mother to call her over to the
house and inform her that she wasn’t in support of the relationship because she
thought my friend was too dark for her son and would rather he be with a light
skinned girl. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">That was almost a year ago, and now she found herself seated across
the table to this woman. My friend had prepped herself for weeks following the
breakup on how to act if and when she ran into him. But as those weeks turned
to months and it was no show, she forewent her plans and got on with her life,
only for her to run into this duo at the wedding. She confessed to me that she
was sure she was visibly shaking. The anger and disappointment came flooding
back and when hers and the woman’s gaze locked, she couldn’t dredge up a
suitable reaction. Should she turn away and ignore her or should she walk over
and greet her? She managed to stay put and feign calmness, but when she noticed
that the woman kept her eyes glued on her every move; she was forced into
finding a way to walk over to the Ex "would-have-been-mother-in-law" to greet
her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">To her surprise, the woman feigned pleasure at running into
her and even went on about how long it had been since she saw her at the house.
She gestured towards the end of the hall that she was sure her son was there
somewhere and attempted to beckon him over to come meet them. My friend told
her not to bother that she was in a hurry herself as she had another engagement
elsewhere and used the commotion of the bridal dance to quietly skulk away
unnoticed by the Ex.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Running into the Ex is usually a thorny road to tread. Days
and weeks following a breakup, you need time to be angry, curse, hurt and grieve
but at the end you need to make a decision to either wallow in that self-pity
or pick yourself up and start again. More often than not, we plan, rehearse, act
out and carefully arm ourselves with the best response to give when and if we
do run into the ex in a random (and maybe not so random- hence planned) place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">As soon as we get out of the pity-party hole in which we had
sunken into, we try to reinvent ourselves. Some immerse themselves into work;
some go shopping, take a trip, or hang out with lively friends who uplift their
spirits. But always, lurking at the back of their minds is how to talk and act
if and when they do run into the Ex. This usually encapsulates two intentions,
one to make the Ex know that you are totally over them and have moved on, or
the second to find a way to get the Ex jealous so they wind up getting back
together with you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Whatever your approach, you have to think it through and
make plans before implementing, ergo, </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">figuring out whether there is a
chance of getting back together or not. </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">To do this, you ought to understand yourself. Are you the
logical person who analyzes the pros and cons of every situation before
determining the next course of action? Are you the vengeful sort who is always
seeking out wicked ways to make the Ex pay? Or are you the ever forgiving
long suffering one, who always yearns for things to go back to the rosy way they
were.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">After figuring out who you are, you have to analyze the kind
of person the Ex is. Are they the egotistical type who believe their word is
law? With this type, they always carry on as though their dating you was doing
you some kind of favor, so with them you ought to arm yourself with back-handed
compliments. Like an Ex I ran into who was always vain about his looks. So I
said something like “I see you’re aging gracefully, see your grey hairs and is
that a pot belly I spot? Wow! How times change”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You also have to figure out if they are the creepy ones. Do they have the tendency to surreptitiously
stalk your every movement? Are they the truly penitent ones who are genuinely
trying to make peace? The answers to these questions will equip you with the
right tools in handling them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Another thing to consider is the nature of the relationship
you had with the person. It is easy to hate the Ex. And bad mouthing them at
every given opportunity may probably be easier, but most people aren’t honest about
what type of relationship they shared. In some relationships, the game plan
from the get-go was only to while away time, and that might have been agreed by
both parties, but when the affair ends, one party may most likely be embittered.
For such breakups, in my opinion, it would be fool hardy to make an effort into
getting that person back seeing as what you two had was merely aimed at passing
time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">There are also the genuine, committal relationships. The end
for these ones usually hurt a lot because you not only have to come to terms
with the breakup, but you also need to decide how to break the news to your
family and friends in the nicest way possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">One thing is fairly certain though, you will -whether
purposely or unwittingly- run into the Ex, sooner or later. Therefore your
future reputation is hinged on your ability to remain calm, think of quick
witted things to say to diffuse the tension and all the while making that
person who was dumb enough to leave you know that you are doing well and better
than you were when you were with them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Please share how you have managed to handle yourself whenever
you run into an ex…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cFwjusHmjoI/VZmyI2I68-I/AAAAAAAAAlI/XATrhnUKgVs/s1600/amen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cFwjusHmjoI/VZmyI2I68-I/AAAAAAAAAlI/XATrhnUKgVs/s320/amen.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">For most African societies, the
only illness worth giving attention to are the biological ones, Malaria, Heart
attack, Stroke, Typhoid, Fractures, Cancer, Auto immune disorders etc. Psychological/emotional
illnesses are lumped up into “craze”, “madness”, “witch craft” etc. We are
close minded about phobias, compulsions, grief, sadness, depression, anxiety, sociopathic
tendencies and other such evolving ailment that are stealing many people’s
happiness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">At religious meetings when people
are asked to state their prayer requests, it is unlikely that you would hear
anyone speak up about struggling with a heart break or feeling depressed
because despite his attempts to get into a tertiary institution, it’s all
proven abortive. In fact, most often than not, even in our own most private
thoughts we do not admit to ourselves that we are going through spates of
intense sadness or rage. We are hard on ourselves and so try to escape from it.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Some find respite in approaching it the
generic way, hoping that all be well with them, that they excel, that they get a new
job etc, because God forbid that they admit to themselves that
such lack or loss is hurting badly and then try or seek help in letting go
of the bitterness. This important prayer most of us skip. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">We think, “oh no, there’s no way I
will admit to being hurt, that is giving the devil a reason to cheer at my
defeat”. Aren’t we being a bit too hard on ourselves? If it is okay to admit to
your doctor that you feel a pain in your body, why is it hard to admit that
your heart or soul is troubled? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">The notion that we expect everyone
to be strong always is what’s driving people crazy. Many people do not have the
tools or the mental strength to handle stressful situations, but because it is expected of them to be tough, they hide behind a veil of perfect health when inside
they are dying. For some it is the trappings </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">of friends and society. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">For those who seek respite in
telling the world, while this tendency to over-share is definitely not the best route to go, if it gives you some peace then maybe you should attempt it but with the utmost caution. However, it will be advisable to find a confidant, speak to a spiritually mature
person, see a therapist or find a group of like minds. This may go a long way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Truth is, today happiness is a very
tall order and so we are constantly in a struggle. Either to meet up with
personally set goal posts or to build a façade that tells people how well put
together we are, missing the point that we ought first to be kind to ourselves.
We owe ourselves that much.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Be well…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-32892301442650514792015-06-30T12:35:00.000+01:002015-06-30T12:43:29.661+01:00SOMETIMES WE ARE OUR OWN UNDOING<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VpYOhEyqbnc/VZJ-0dBM36I/AAAAAAAAAk0/2B2zdldrmWo/s1600/yeah.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VpYOhEyqbnc/VZJ-0dBM36I/AAAAAAAAAk0/2B2zdldrmWo/s320/yeah.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br />
“</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I don’t understand how you can be so calm about this. If it were me
there’s no way I would let things be, I’ll be sure to let him have it! Well, maybe
you’re the bigger person, but somehow I know in my heart I could never be
such”. Those were my friend’s words (all be it a little paraphrased) to me the
other day. But let me go back to what brought about this discussion. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">A close friend of mine and I hadn’t
seen each other in a while. Work, our busy schedules and the fact that she was
traveling a lot had made us drift apart for a few weeks. But when we met up the
other day, we tried to catch up with each other and find out how we’ve been,
where we’ve been, with whom we’ve been and so on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Last time we spoke, we shared
raving reviews about a nice guy we had met sometime back. He seemed genuinely
pleasant and straight forward but somehow we found out in the most unpleasant
way that he was a sketchy character. Deeply hurt, I confronted him about it, he
owned up and apologized (the genuineness of which is left to be confirmed) but
I accepted it nonetheless and I told him it was alright, I was ready to let
bygones be that. My response was what got my dear friend firing up at me. In
her opinion, hurting someone is premeditated and there is neither an excuse nor
reason to forgive such a person without first trying to get back at them. But I am of the opposite opinion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Spirituality aside, forgiving and
letting go of pain and hurt is beneficial to everyone. Holding on to anger and
resentment is the easiest thing to do especially when we feel betrayed by
people we trust. However, wallowing in that anger deprives us of much needed
peace and happiness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">For days, my friend’s words echoed
within me <i>“Well, maybe you are the bigger
person</i>”. And with it came the realization that I wasn’t exactly a bigger
person than she was, I had just learnt from experience. And with such
experiences, you get better at reacting to bullshit. As with most Scorpios,
long suffering and vengeance came easily for me. I could hold onto past
grievances for years, secretly pining away till an opportunity presents itself
where I can strike back. But what that did for me first was, it seized my peace
and through constant pondering on a revenge tactic, it made me mentally hold on
to people and things I was better off expunging from my life. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">They rented a
space in my heart and for payment; I lost sleep, peace and happiness instead!
One day, I decided to start a process of evaluating everything and everyone i held
in contempt and gauged how much those things had gained me and what it had
robbed me of and I found that the loss far surpassed the need for resentment.
With such realization came the purging of my heart and emptying it of all
non-paying/profitable space renters in my mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I understand that for some the
feeling of being cheated has to be retaliated by revenge or at the very least a
worded backlash and it is only then that they can find satisfaction. That’s
okay too, but that only makes you the same hurtful person as the one who
wronged you. If you can live with yourself after such knowledge, then by God,
be you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">But my 2 cents and the logic to my
somewhat happy life is this, I logically analyze the reason for such betrayal,
if it was as a result of my shortcoming, I am kind to myself so i forgive and
move on. If it was premeditatedly aimed at hurting me, I figure “hey what they
heck, I’ve been wronged, true. Do I need to show that person just how much I am
hurting by their wrong? Heck no! I can’t let any hurtful soul have a laugh and
jest about their accomplishment”. So I suck it up, puff my chest and walk tall,
usually in my 6 inch heel stilettos. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-d3j_tc8Qi4Y/VWhpRmZf7HI/AAAAAAAAAkA/5as4SuivfYU/s1600/Democracy.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-d3j_tc8Qi4Y/VWhpRmZf7HI/AAAAAAAAAkA/5as4SuivfYU/s1600/Democracy.jpeg" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I awoke to the buzzing of helicopters flying in the sky. For
the uninformed on National matters, the presence of Military surveillance
copters would have been a giveaway that something epic was going down in the Nation’s
capital, Abuja. It wasn’t just the celebration of Democracy in Nigeria which is
marked on this day the 29<sup>th</sup> of May every year, but today, it is also
the handing over to a new regime following the victory of Muhammadu Buhari in
the April 28<sup>th</sup> poll over the incumbent President, Goodluck Jonathan.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">As power had gone off in the early hours of the morning, we
decided to turn on the generator to also witness the ceremony. The Eagle Square
was awash with beautiful decorations and more important were the international dignitaries
that graced this epic occasion. Including Heads of State, Prime Ministers, Senate
President, Speaker, House of Representatives, Chief Justice of the Federation, Politicians,
Captains of Industries, and a host of entertainment. These, including P-Square and
Kwam-1 who regaled the guests with songs to set the pace for the jubilation of
the day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The Vice President, Arc. Namadi Sambo and Vice President-Elect
Prof. Yemi Osinbajo arrived first, preceding the arrival of the President-Elect
Gen. Muhammadu Buhari, who personally welcomed invited dignitaries and guests
before taking his seat. Last came the Presidential convoy of black BMWs and the
Official Mercedes Benz, and amidst Military precision, the outgoing President
of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan GCFR arrived the
Inauguration ceremony.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The ceremony began with opening prayers led by the Chairman of
CAN Abuja Chapter, Gabriel Akanbi and the Deputy Chief Imam of the National
Mosque, Abuja, Dr. Ibrahim Ahmad Zakari .<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The Chief Registrar of the Supreme Court Barrister Ahmed
Gambo Saleh anchoring the swearing-in invited first the Vice President-Elect
with his wife to the podium to take his oath of office in the presence of the
Chief Justice of Nigeria, Justice Mahmud Mohammed GCON to the applause of the
crowd and the salute of the Military. Next on the podium was President Jonathan
after shaking hands with other Heads of States, the invited guests and dignitaries.
Followed soon after was the President-Elect Muhammadu Buhari accompanied by his
wife to the podium to take his oath of office. To the “Sai Baba, sai Buhari”
music by Kwam 1, Muhammadu Buhari, President of the Federal Republic of
Nigeria, signed his oath of office.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Then came the handshake between the incoming president and
the outgoing President followed by the Military ceremonies of handing over the
flag of Nigeria and the flag of the office of the Presidency. To the sound of
the Bigul, the flags were mounted. White pigeons were let out of the
decorated green, white, green cage and the 21 gun salute by the Nigerian Army
Artillery. Inspection of the military guard brigade by the President, Federal
Republic of Nigeria Muhammadu Buhari while his qualifications were reeled out
by the English and French anchors of the event.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Giving his inaugural speech, President Buhari reiterated his
promise to uphold integrity, stave corruption, improve power generation and
transmission and tackle security challenges. While also tasking the media and other
arms of the government on responsibility and accountability. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">As the ceremony winds to a close, the loud music emanating
from mobile bands in the street celebrating Nigeria’s democracy seep into my
room, I too step out with my bowl of goat meat pepper soup to celebrate with my
fellow countrymen. But first, let me turn off the generator, fuel cannot waste. lol.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">**** A special welcome to the new President and his Vice to
the helm of affairs of this great country. We hope and pray that your
government be willing to dig into the grime cut out for you and work hard to
deliver on your CHANGE mandate for the Nigerian people ****<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">God bless Nigeria, God bless the new political dispensation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-56921053933834046132015-05-27T16:44:00.002+01:002015-05-27T19:03:53.707+01:00HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /><br />
For hours I have been thinking about what to publish to commemorate this Children’s day, and I came up blank. And then like a wave of pure knowledge it hit me that I had before now published a piece for the children and so I thought to myself “why fix it if aint broke?”<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nWoJMocod5A/VWXwP3L-MpI/AAAAAAAAAjc/zpqH_bF331A/s1600/african-children.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nWoJMocod5A/VWXwP3L-MpI/AAAAAAAAAjc/zpqH_bF331A/s320/african-children.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Therefore, I have decided instead to re-attach my article titled “Don’t Grow Up Too Fast” posted on the 25th of November 2014 To remind you all that life moves too quickly, so let's help children enjoy their innocence.<br />
<br />
Shalom.<br />
<br />
<br />
DON’T GROW UP TOO FAST…<br />
<br />
As a little girl, I was always fascinated with makeup and other such grown up stuff. It used to thrill me to play dress up in my aunties’ clothes, shoes and wigs, completing the outfit by donning on the signature red “Magic Lipstick” of the 90’s. And then I would strut around the house in those elevated block heeled Italian shoes, hands akimbo and imitating Naomi Campbell whom I thought was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.<br />
<br />
This isn’t unlike most of the young girls around my age then. During sleepovers at my childhood best friend’s house, we would attempt painting our nails and end up messing up the linoleum tiled floor. We would dig out and pore over Hints and Hearts magazines that our big aunts kept hidden in their closets. Though my family wanted to keep me young and protected, I only thought they were being uptight and didn’t understand me. I remember when my mother made me cut my hair I was berserk. I thought she was the most unreasonable person ever. I sulked and wouldn’t talk to her for days.<br />
<br />
By the time I was 12, I had begun lying about my age, claiming I was years older just so I could be considered a grown up. I snuck lipstick and mufti clothes into my boarding school and wore them whenever the boys from the adjoining school were coming over for a function. All the while trying my damnest not to be caught by my seniors or teachers.<br />
<br />
One thing on my mind was that i wanted to be a grownup. I wanted to see life, and experience it as adults did. I was eager to see the world and enjoy it. What i didn’t know then was that the world wasn’t going anywhere and i would one day meet it. And when I did, I would realized that, life as I thought it to be, wasn’t all that.<br />
<br />
This however isn’t unique to children only. I think that regardless of our age, rushing through life in order to get to the next thing is a constant struggle which we all face. Because now, in retrospect, I wonder what the fuss was all about. The sneaking of contraband into school, braiding my hair with extensions, the use of makeup and fancy shoes. It all now seems unnecessary and a total waste of time which I could have invested in something more productive. That’s why my heart flips over anytime I go to the mall and I see teenage girls dressed skimpily, with loud makeup and the boys clad in jeans so tight and riding low that they can barely squat (which I could bet my Naira wasn’t how they left their homes).<br />
<br />
Or the other day at a church function, some little children were all glammed up and if I didn’t know better I would have mistaken them for 20 somethings.<br />
<br />
You will grow up one day. You will be free to date, you will be free to dress as you want but if you are in a hurry to grow up, you will miss out on the wonderful life of a child, especially the trust and love that only children truly enjoy. Growing up, you will find out that the world will try to swallow up all your joy and its wake only bitterness will be left. And the boys you pined over aren’t the dashing prince charming you thought them to be. And the girls you spent your entire savings on? They will move onto richer guys.<br />
<br />
Turning a quarter of a century earlier this month, I have had this urge to share my sentiments with fellow young people that we try to be as present in today’s moments as we can be.<br />
<br />
This however shouldn’t be mistaken as a call for children to refuse to grow up and remain childish their whole life, traipsing along life with no sense of responsibility. This is just to encourage kids to be happy being kids. Enjoy the life full of dreams and aspirations but when it is time to leave childish things behind, please do.<br />
<br />
I’ll leave you with the words from a song by one of my favorite Rock bands, Train…<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Just don’t grow up so fast<br />
<br />
You don’t want to know what I know yet<br />
<br />
Maybe on paper it looks better way up here<br />
<br />
Don’t you hurry, try to take it slow<br />
<br />
you will get there before you know it<br />
<br />
Ain’t just the bad times, the good times too shall pass<br />
<br />
There’s only so much sand in the hour glass<br />
<br />
So don’t grow up so fast, ooh<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kalu didn’t
like to think of himself as vain and foppish, he however always made an effort
to appear dapper. But the thing was this, as a child he grew up in a northern
town where there were only a handful of Igbos and most of them were technicians
and traders. The only few available white collar jobs were mostly teaching or being
a staff at the Local government office. So he had always disliked the way
clothes hung loosely around his kinsmen and he made a silent vow that when he
leaves his community and moves to the big city he would be sure to wear nice
clothes. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The answer
to his prayer came when he got an oil company scholarship that paid his way
through the university and ultimately he landed a job with them after his
graduation.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He remembered
vaguely that the northern young girls in his community will always smile shyly
at him when they walked past. Though that amused him he would later admit to
Karen that he had always figured they were interested in him because of his
charming good looks and his sense of style. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Let me
introduce Karen – she was the new NYSC Corp member in Kalu’s office and the
girl Kalu was hooking up with. Kalu thought her pretty and smart enough and
definitely someone with whom he enjoyed having conversations but he wasn’t
looking for anything serious. But that wasn’t how she refers to their
relationship. She sees herself more as the lady of the manor because she had
partially moved in with him and of course had her own key to the apartment. She
prided herself as the love of Kalu’s life whom he’s just too shy to admit. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Did I
mention that Kalu was definitely a fine guy? Well I think that word quite
understated- he is beautiful. Dark skinned, really tall and slim but buff such
that you can’t but stop and stare when he walked past. He got so much attention
from women at restaurants, clubs and at the workplace. And even a few men also
whenever he went to the gym. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I think that
was what made it different with Karen. She obviously made it clear that though
she thought him really handsome, -I mean she would have to a blind not to see
that-, but she never made much of a big deal of it. She made it clear that she
was attracted more to his wit and brilliance. And I guess Kalu liked that
declaration because he always got a free pass wherever he went. People fell all
over themselves to grant his wishes. So she was a breath of fresh air for him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kalu liked
to think of himself of not being a womanizer but with such beauty comes the
inevitable temptations. He never even had to worry about trying to step up to a
woman, because they always seemed to be just waiting for him to make a move and
the bolder ones usually walked up to him themselves.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One of such
to fall victim to his charm was Zara- The divorced, rich daughter of a wealthy
top ranking business mogul. Kalu met Zara at a work function where they had
both presented results of their individual research work and he was totally in
awe of her articulation and poise that she carried with so much
delicateness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">She was
exactly the type of girl he always thought unapproachable. Living in the north
he understood the stereotype involved with northern girls dating a southern
guy, so no matter much they gave him the come-on looks, he would look the other
away. He definitely didn’t want any aggressive father meting out a thousand
strokes of the cane on his back.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But somehow
he felt drawn to her in ways he couldn’t explain. He quickly introduced himself
after the event ended, they exchanged business cards and he began working his
magic on her. First he began by helping her with her research work whenever he
thought she was smarmed. Before long, they began meeting for lunch and on days
he wanted to turn on his full charm he would take her to the movies. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Zara was
endeared by his efforts and of course his treacherous good looks. Without even
trying too hard she found herself liking him a lot. Maybe it was because he had
the bad boy image, kind of like the forbidden fruit, the devil’s eye candy that
attracted her. But before long they began dating. Zara knew with a lot of
effort she might be able to convince her parents to come around and accept of
her marrying a southerner. But she knew that the possibility of that happening
is premised on her ability to convert him to Islam. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kalu had
become totally taken by her and he began considering an option of becoming a Muslim
as that was the only way they could be together. He began reading the revised
English version of the Qur’an and Zara explained points that he found hard to
understand. But somewhere along the line, Kalu’s stoic catholic mother
intervened and so he had to grudgingly walk away. This hurt Zara so much
because she had hoped he would convert and so had begun to tell her family
about him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This all
happened before Karen got into the picture. Karen was the one to pick up the pieces
of Kalu’s broken heart, piece it back together. Of course Kalu had told her
about his Hausa lover and how things went awry and so she would tease him light
heartedly about his “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Omo Hausa</i>”
girlfriend. Having seen a glimpse of Kalu’s pain, she felt drawn to him and she
inevitably fell in love. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">By this time
Zara was already sending messages pleading with Kalu to reconsider, telling him
how she loved him. When her pleas seemed to fall on deaf ears, she began
begging that he not embarrass her in before her family and as a last resort,
she switched to sending threatening messages. She had obviously found out about
Karen and so was enraged that Kalu had left her for a small girl after the
sacrifices she had made for him. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It got to
that point that Karen had to plead with Kalu to ignore Zara’s calls but he
wouldn’t. He’d go on about how he understood that Zara was only hurting and she
didn’t mean any harm. As expected this began to cause friction between Karen
and Kalu. But try as Karen would to walk away she couldn’t. And so she kept
feeling helpless in getting her man to be fully committed to her and lay to
rest whatever it was that he and Zara shared.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In the
height of her frustrations, Karen decided to pay Zara a visit at her office.
She stole Zara’s contact from Kalu’s phone and made an appointment under fake
pretenses. Upon arriving Zara’s office, she introduced herself and warned Zara
to stay away from her man. Zara, angered by such effrontery ordered security to
throw Karen out. That was the first lesson Karen was to learn that day, “do not
ever visit a rival on their own turf. Meet on a mutual ground and battle it
out”. The second lesson she would learn was never to go through your man’s
phone and especially with malicious intent. Of Course Zara called to report
Karen to Kalu and he was so enraged he packed up Karen’s clothes in a bag,
deposited it with the security guy at his gate and sent her a message about
where to pick up her belongings.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When Karen
got that text message, she felt her world crumbling down. She knew she had
messed up but could Kalu just look past it and forgive her? After countless
messages apologizing and all phone calls placed ignored, she decided to give
Zara a taste of her own medicine. So she found a guy she went to university
with who wasn’t one to eschew violence and arranged for him ambush Zara on her
way back home from work, give her a scare, slash her tires and smash in her
windscreen.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That done, it
finally got the attention of Kalu who stormed her sister’s house where she was
living to question her about the attack. She feigned innocence and even though
Kalu had a gut feeling that Karen was responsible he couldn’t verify and try as
Zara might to pin the attack on Karen, they didn’t have any proof so Karen got
away.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In a twist
of fate, this act of Karen’s obliterated any hopes she had of ever getting back
together with Kalu, instead it engendered Kalu’s pity for Zara whom he returned
to ask for forgiveness and they resumed dating.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There was
one person whom both Karen and Zara loathed her very existence and neither mentioned,
-that was Maria. She was Kalu’s first love with whom he had had a kid with but they
unfortunately lost the baby to sickle cell anemia. They had met in the
university and fell in love as jambites. By the time they were in their final
year, she got pregnant. With the promise of graduation and a wealth of
opportunity awaiting them, they decided to keep the baby. They however deferred
on getting wedded immediately but agreed to share responsibility in caring for
the child. But a few days to the baby’s first year birthday, they lost her to a
sickle cell crisis. The loss of their baby girl wedged a wall between them and
though they loved each other, the pain made them drift away causing Maria to
move to Lagos. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">She however
got back into the picture when she was selected by her office to head the newly
opened branch in Abuja. Kalu ran into her at NEXT Supermarket not far from
where he lived. They exchanged numbers and reconnected in a way only two people
who were absolutely once in love could. She was still unmarried though had just
broken off an eight month engagement because of her move to Abuja from Lagos.
As is the feature of lingering embers, the flame between them easily fanned and
waxed hot. But Maria never knew of Kalu’s predicament with Zara nor Karen and
she often teased him about Abuja girls not having snatched him up long before
now but Kalu remained mum about it all. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But that was
before a fateful Saturday morning when Kalu and Maria were watching highlights
of a football match they had missed the night before when his phone rang. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The call was from Karen’s elder sister who had
phoned to inform him of Karen’s demise. Karen? Dead? How? When? Why? The phone
call revealed that Karen was pregnant with his child and because things weren’t
working out she decided to get rid of it. It was almost 5 months formed and so
she died from complications during the surgery. Karen’s sister had blasted him
to high heaven cursing him for not taking his responsibilities and leading her
sister to her untimely death. When Maria figured the details of the call, she
was cross with him. Maria couldn’t imagine how Kalu put any woman through such
heartache when they had both lost a kid whom they loved and how the loss
totally crushed them. She was so pained, she packed up her things and left him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What neither
Maria nor Karen’s sister waited to ask was whether or not Kalu knew about the
pregnancy. He didn’t. Karen had kept it a total secret from him and now
thinking back he knew why she would do that. Karen wasn’t one to arm twist anyone
into being with her. And he wished he didn’t understand that about her, because
maybe it would have made the pain he felt hurt a little less. Kalu had told
Karen about his kid with Maria and how she died, so she ought to have
understood that he would never have abandoned his child. But alas she was nowhere
for him to confront. She had robbed him of a chance to have another child he
could love and had robbed the world an opportunity to experience a beautiful
soul like hers.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He couldn’t
see how his own anger and selfishness had so blinded him to the pain Karen must
have been going through. The pain of such a realization made him call it quits
with Zara, he quit his job, put away the women in his life and bade farewell to
his family. He sold his car and put his flat up for sale with instructions that
the money be deposited into an account. And then Kalu bought a one way ticket
to China and enrolled in a soul-finding mission where he joined a spiritual
meditation group led by a group of old monks. There, he found peace and began
slowly to forgive himself.</span></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-34771935069352934722015-03-27T13:07:00.000+01:002015-04-08T11:23:15.518+01:00LET CHILDREN ENJOY THE FAIRYTALE <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Age Appropriate Movies...</span></div>
<br />
<br />
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was a Wednesday
evening and a friend who was visiting me at my office strong armed me into
going to see a movie with her at the cinema. Anyone who is an Abuja resident
understands the rush, traffic and crowd that pile up to the cinema on Wednesday,
mostly because the cost of viewing movies is slashed by 50% and you get free popcorn
and a soda.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Much as I loathed the crowd
on such days, I decided to do a little movie schedule search online before we
left. I wanted to check to see the movies showing that week, the time, running
time, and watch the attached short movie teasers. We decided on seeing the
movie “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Jupiter Ascending</i>”. I found it
was a sci-fi movie showing at 7:05pm about whimsical beings, with the different
planets of the universe battling for supremacy and ultimately romance between a
human female and a winged extra-terrestrial male. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The movie
seemed to suit our moods and so we began the painstaking traffic laden journey
to the cinema complex. After battling it out on the road, we arrived the
ticketing stand at 7:00, bought two tickets and all but dashed through the
popcorn vending point and into the theatre. By the time we found a seat and
settled in it was 7:13pm. Thank God for small miracles that cinemas in Nigeria always
start a little late and almost always lead off with previews. I bet they put
into cognizance our tendency for using the “African Time” excuse of always
getting to places later than stated. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thirty
minutes into the movie a family walked into the theatre with two children. One
looked about 3 years old and the other, maybe 8 years old. At first I thought
their entry distracting as they made huge shadow-like reflections on the white
projected wall of the cinema and I had to duck this way and that way in an
attempt to be able to see the screen. While they looked around for a seat, they
chose the row right in front of us and settled in. just as I was silently
cursing my ill luck of sitting behind whiny and fidgety kids, the characters in
the movie were engrossed in an intense lip lock and were all gooey eyed and
just then a host of scary evil villains attack them. And immediately my eyes
darted to the kids seated in front when I could almost hear one of them flinch.
And all of a sudden I began feeling bad for them.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I remember
as kids, we had to struggle to sneak into the sitting room, and then hide behind sofas as the adults
watched videos like Nneka the snake girl, Ayamatanga and Anaconda. And when i got to
watch Michael Jackson’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Thriller</i>
video for the first time, despite the fact that I hid my eyes behind my palms,
I remember still getting really scared. And I remember having bad dreams at
night for years because of the scenes I had watched. So I worried for these
children who were more or less seeing a movie that wasn’t age appropriate. And
then my worry switched to anger for the adults who brought them in. Did they
not read the age rating? And if they had somehow missed that, what about the
cinema security? Didn’t they see them walk in? </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I itched to
lean over and ask the parents why they chose an inappropriate movie to bring
their kids to, but with the way modern Nigeria doesn’t take too well with any
kind of criticism, I decided to mind my business. But since then my palms had
been itching to pen something down about this, perhaps parents will learn to
pay more attention to the 'Parental Guidance' and age ratings of movies.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It is quite
simple, if a movie specifies the age restriction for viewers, it is best we
obey it. I for one am still scarred by some unpleasant scenes I saw as a child
and these thoughts sneak up on me at unplanned moments, seizing me with fear. And
I am an adult, so you can imagine what that may do to kids. Allow children to
be children, let them enjoy the fairy tale of life before they are forcefully
tossed into living the harsh reality of life. Let them enjoy their innocence while
they still have it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Let them
gobble up the simplicity of Spongebob, or the dreamy princess life of Snow White
and Cinderella. And then gently introduce them with sound teaching and guidance
the ways to go about life. Don't let movies be their first teacher before you get the chance to put them through yourself.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">As a famous Vin Diesel quote says... </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">"Protect your innocence... </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Our innocence allows us </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">to do what the practical mind prohibits"</span></span></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-15822701843464050642015-03-09T16:51:00.000+01:002015-03-09T16:51:06.375+01:00SOULS THAT NEVER GROW OLD<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I read with so much mirth today’s newspaper which had a
picture of the “Stiletto race” in India sponsored by the women fashion brand-
Elle, to mark the International Women’s Day celebration. It wasn’t so much the
funny shot of a lady tipping over in her high heeled shoes but yet remained
persistent in reaching the finish line that caught my attention. It was however
the subliminal message of women as resilient, valiant, strong and determined to
achieve life’s goals amidst hardship that registered with me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The picture uniquely captured the very essence and soul of a
true woman. She is expected to work like a horse, while still looking
impeccable and well put together. The imagery of using stilettos to race I believe
might have been to show that as uncomfortable as high heels are, a woman wears
it as though it was all effortless. She straightens her back, squares her chin
and carries herself through this difficult life while looking graceful.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">This got me to thinking about the rather ever youthful
mindset of women. Though we deal with a myriad of things in the course of our
lives, we never seem to tire of giving love nor do we become soulless. And in the
grand scheme of things, no matter how much we lose, we are always looking for
someone or something to give love to. It’s our blessing and our curse.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Women nurture, birth, cater to, love, feed, and in all these,
we do it with a smile. It’s as though we have a will of steel. Being called the
fairer sex, I believe has more to do with our ability to show and give love
more than the assumption that we are by virtue of their physical composition,
weaker than our male counterparts.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Therefore, I dedicate this piece to all women in the world,
especially those who have seen so much bitterness, sadness, loss and pain and
still yet retained their joy. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In a world
that is constantly trying to put women down, segregate, oppress, plunder and
pillage its fairer sex, I send this out as a shout of encouragement to all who
still stand strong.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">To my grandmothers, Dah and Mama Kafanchan who is always full
of life and still imitates the way I danced as a kid, I celebrate your joie de
vivre today and always. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">To my mother, Momma Jates who’s my pillar and chief
disciplinarian, you are loved beyond measure. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">To my aunties, sisters and cousins who have all played
pivotal roles in my life, may the Lord’s mercies be upon you all. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">To my friends, who have become sisters, you make the world go
round.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Happy International Women’s Day to me and to all women in the
world… God bless</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Picture after the cut....</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-23H7sHtAHMY/VP3BJPHhKZI/AAAAAAAAAho/qyjRkiHXYn0/s1600/635613961069113817-AFP-538636842.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-23H7sHtAHMY/VP3BJPHhKZI/AAAAAAAAAho/qyjRkiHXYn0/s1600/635613961069113817-AFP-538636842.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"> Photo credit: Google </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"> USA today</span></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-55668542830650944142015-02-25T16:59:00.000+01:002015-02-25T16:59:43.972+01:00GROWING DISENCHANTMENT OF YOUTHS FOR TEACHING<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">My favorite teacher in secondary school was Miss Jillian who
taught me Literature-in-English. Before she began taking my class, I performed so
poorly in the subject that I thought it was the hardest possible thing to
decipher. It was rocket science to me. Then she came, like a rainbow cast over
a dingy dark cloud. She unearthed the intricacies of literary texts and by the
time she left, I could tear apart any literary piece, be it Poem, Prose, Drama
and spoken word, critique it and put it back together again. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">It had more to do with her cool, calming demeanor, her vast
and deep knowledge of the subject and above all, her ability to breakdown
complex material and teach it until it enters the densest of heads. She was a
miracle for my class and but for her intervention when she did, a lot of the
students in my class, and myself in particular would have been lost as communicators
or lawyers today.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">When I got to the University, I had an equally amazing
lecturer. Mr. Jimoh. He knew his stuff and whenever he stepped into the class
we paid rapt attention. He would move fluidly from one topic to another with
clear precision. He taught us so well that we even went out of our way to personally
research topics in the outline so when it was time to take it in class we were
more informed and could contribute to the discourse. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I think his proficiency must have been noticed and groomed by
the faculty board because he was always chosen to take the difficult courses. In
fact, He even made me put to sleep my fear of statistics. By the end of every
semester, it wasn’t hard to see that his courses had the highest percentage of
excellence among the students. He worked us hard and with persistence and with
something akin to the gentle hand of a father. He was literally one in a
million of all teachers I had come across.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">However, the same cannot be said for many teachers. During my
days in school, there were some teachers and lecturers who used terror as a
teaching tool. They threatened us into attending class, wielded a dangling axe
above our heads to enforcing excellence and appear with a bitter attitude every
day to class. Making students despise the course even as much as they despised
the teacher. And that always tells on the performance of the student when they
rank low. With such brutes as these, little wonder the increased apathy of youths for the teaching profession. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Or those teachers who always have so many stories to tell
about their lives. Instead of getting a shrink on whom they should unload their
burdens, they use the entire class hour to keep the students abreast of what is
going on in their personal lives, totally neglecting the job they were assigned
to do.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Of course it is preposterous to ask a teacher to cuddle a
student into learning something, that’s the role of parents not theirs.
However, you must first know your subject well and then hone skills that make
it possible to transfer this knowledge to your underlings. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">And what about their remuneration? But a pittance. It is so
bad that even those who start off with glowing aspirations of doing their best
at impacting knowledge to others become disillusioned and begin to lag at their
jobs until all motivation is gone and there is nothing left but a bitter
impassionate teacher who just wants to drone on and on in class, leave and
await the monthly pay slip. And when it is delayed they are only just so eager
to carry out those long industrial actions that lead to strikes that drag into
many months.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I know one hard working teacher who has taught for 33 years
and yet collects a monthly salary less than what many young people with 5 years’
experience at other ministries receive. She is set to retire in 2 years and yet
doesn’t foresee a fat gratuity.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Not surprise there that many young people do not envision themselves
becoming teachers but are more enthralled by the glamor of other professions.
In fact, the few who do, only do so because they lack something else to do. So
they fall back to the teaching career as a plan B, sometimes C or even D. And
at that, they aren’t motivated to put in their best. Half the time they skip
work so they can engage in other jobs or businesses that allow them glean a bit
of money to complement what little they receive as salary.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Teachers are essential to us. Most of us will be nothing
without our teachers who invested their time to tutor us.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Dedicated to Jimoh Ibrahim and Jillian Jackden… Most amazing
teachers I know.</span><br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">CC: those teachers who were nothing but angels</span></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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</script></div>Jemimah-Nikky Jateshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181260647267220392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6700980584991310337.post-45726940703646895552015-02-14T17:10:00.000+01:002015-02-14T17:10:24.765+01:00Today Would Have Been The Big Day...The Moment #NigeriaDecides<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NcQL0P3RPi4/VN3x-dA9k4I/AAAAAAAAAhA/puo1-mh73lg/s1600/APC-vs-PDP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NcQL0P3RPi4/VN3x-dA9k4I/AAAAAAAAAhA/puo1-mh73lg/s1600/APC-vs-PDP.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">NIGERIA’S
POLITICAL LANDSCAPE VIS A VIS THE 2015 GENERAL ELECTION POLLS</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">As Nigerians prepare for the 2015 general elections, the
political landscape is rife with uncertainty, jingoism, scandalous accusations,
blatant lies and unachievable promises among others. While stalwarts of the two
top political parties’ war against each other, the Nigerian populace watches,
dismayed at the obvious lack of decorum and decency expressed by politicians.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Many factors will determine a successful conduct and
acceptable results of the general elections. This includes, objectivity and
neutrality in the presentation of national matters as well as the perceived
positive influence that each party hopes to bring to the benefit of Nigerians.
Not forgetting the matter of tackling insecurity to allow for a successful
electoral round.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">To say there is a total lack of objectivity and neutrality is
saying the least. It is no longer a hidden matter that both the PDP and the APC
are aiming for each other’s jugular as they strive to convince Nigerians that
they are better off giving their votes to them. Their warring has exposed to
media watchers the disregard politicians have for the art of true democracy.
And the media reporters, columnist and pundits aren’t much different from the
politicians. Though it is expected that the media are to remain objective
between two warring parties, it is obvious that the Nigerian media have taken
partisan sides to the ongoing verbal contest between the PDP and the APC. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Though that should be expected as most Nigerian media
proprietors have shown and expressed their political views in the past, it is
not hard to imagine that their faithful employees seek to report stories that
will gain them favour in the eyes of their principals. Not forgetting the huge
geographical dichotomy of their readership and the flowing of adverts from
those most favored. It is therefore not hard to see that papers such as
DailyTrust, Vanguard and Leadership show sympathy to the course of the Arewa
people in general and to the All Progressive Congress (APC) political party in
particular. Whereas papers like Thisday and Businessday though attempt
vigorously to display objectivity, still come off as supporters of the ruling
PDP, probably unbeknownst to them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The adverts that run in the media are appalling
representations of the levels that politicking causes people to stoop to.
Bringing to fore the belief that indeed “politics is a dirty game”. The name
calling, backstabbing, allegiance switching, embittered antics pulled by those
who have lost in the primaries, those just generally disenchanted with the
government of President Goodluck Jonathan and the stoic supporters of the PDP
who reject the APC and all it stands for. This makes it hard for any media
watcher to determine what party expresses more bitterness against the other. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">While I am wont to say the PDP have said and portrayed some
rather derogatory and pejorative views against the opposition party and against
its presidential candidate- General Muhammadu Buhari; the APC can’t be fully
absolved of blame either.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Where the PDP keep hammering on the educational qualification
or lack of as the case may be of the APC Presidential candidate, as well as
dragging his dictatorial and familial history into murky waters, the APC have
taken to destroying the administrative achievements of the PDP through
President GEJ. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The positions of the Elder statesmen, Council of State and
other respected Opinion Leaders have further caused more disruption than good
in this election period.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With people like
IBB constantly contradicting himself in whom he pledges allegiance to. Or Chief
Olusegun Obasanjo, a supposed leader in the ruling PDP and expected godfather
of President Jonathan, is seen to now be pitching his tent with the opposition.
While also brandishing the GEJ led government with unflattering comments in the
media.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">While I am in no doubt that these politicians raise some
pertinent issues in their campaigns, about the economy, social, cultural and
political developments, it is clear to me that neither party shows a full and
clear determination to attend to the issues that concerns the common man.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The PDP enjoy showcasing the vast infrastructural
developments it has recorded in the length and breadth of the nation, such as
the road, rail and airports creation, schools and hospitals established as well
as its attempt at job creations and the power sector. The APC, on the other
hand is apt and with good reason at denigrating such efforts, while expounding
on the corruption and looting and incompetency that trail the GEJ led political
party. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">While the APC is eager to point to Nigerians the shortcomings
of the present government, they haven’t clearly expressed their plans towards
steering the country in the right direction. That change is good and should be
embraced; one must stop to ask what sort of wind of change they are bringing
with them, after all it is said that ‘not every change is good’. Especially with the alluded "Extremism" that seems to dog the APC presidential candidate and try as he may, it seems he can't shake the suspicions loose. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">While these are viable points to be raised at such a<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>time when Nigerians are more informed and
have better understanding of how much their votes are worth, another important
point begs to be mentioned; the violence that this election and its outcome
portends for the country. With the ever increasing activities of the Boko Haram
in the North East, especially their concerted efforts to take Maiduguri, the
state capital of Borno and the only town in Borno that seems to be enjoying
military presence. This therefore means that the military stationed in such
volatile areas cannot be redeployed to polling stations else the insurgents may
find an entrance into the town and capture it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Not forgetting the finger pointing of the APC against the
PDP, accusing them- all be it indirectly- of orchestrating the insurgency or at
least displaying a lackluster effort at overcoming the menace. Then there are
the inciting statements politicians and their overzealous supporters have made
concerning their acceptance or lack of for the results of the elections. With
Niger Delta ex-militants promising to raise hell if GEJ is voted out, and
Northerners promising to defend themselves if such a war was to be launched.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Besides the issue of insecurity, there is the matter of the
Permanent Voters Card (PVC) and its availability to all registered voters in
the country. Though with the elections shifted 6 weeks farther hither, there still
abounds many an outcry as to the true capability of the INEC staff to deliver
true to their responsibilities. Their responsibility being to distribute PVCs accordingly
and without bias to all registered voters, to provide for the timely delivery
of all sensitive and non-sensitive election materials and to provide
professionalism in the discharge of their duties throughout the election period
and beyond.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Though INEC Chairman Prof. Attahiru Jega and his staff assure
Nigerians of their readiness, many are doubtful of such promise and think Jega
just might be in over his head with this gargantuan idea of the PVC system of
balloting.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">With the international community and media watching keenly at
this year’s polls, it has proved to be the tightest and most highly competitive
election this nation has experienced in a long time. And while we too look on,
we hope that whoever ascends to the Presidential villa, come May 29<sup>th</sup>
2015, comes ready to fold up his sleeves, dig into the grime cut out for him
and work hard to deliver on the mandate of the Nigerian people.</span></div>
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