This isn't one of my regular stories which come with a built-up story line, with the beginning, the climax and the denouement. This is a deviation from the norm. It represents the voice of women who have been hurt before and even those avoiding the hurt. But most importantly, it is that of those who yearn for knowledge.
This subject has been on my mind for a long time and i realize that so had it plagued the thoughts of other single females that i know.
My girls and i are very close, we talk about alot of things and to a large extent we are quite intuitive and smart. However, what puzzles us is our inability to read the mind of a man and understand how he truly feels about us. We have read books, articles, etc to get a sneak peak into men's psyches but they have proven futile. At the end, every man is different. What worked for Shade when she sought to understand her spouse Emeka, didnt work for Trisha when she tried to analyze Abdul.
This brings me back to the question...How do men realize upon knowing a girl whether they would want to date her more, or they would like to marry her someday or if she is only just a fling to them? Is there a leather bound criteria that they apply or is it something she does/doesn't do that inspires their decision? Or could it be that they never had any positive thoughts towards her from the get-go?
Some writers opine that a man upon meeting a woman knows or atleast has a strong feeling suggesting if he could or could not marry her. The viablility of that saying is still unproven.
This write-up is an offshoot of this above statement.
I was talking with a particular older man who matter-of-factly told me that when he met the woman who was later to be his wife of 20 years, he never had any good intentions towards her. To him it was just going to be a hit-bang-skip thing, but when he got close to her, there was something about her that he just couldn't let go off. After a while of getting to know her more, he just couldn't bring himself to jilt her. She got under his skin like she was a part of him and so after battling with himself for 4 years, he asked her to marry him. It wasn't out of sympathy that he did so, but he genuinely fell in love with her.
I have heard many of such sweet love stories, where lovers meet and they automatically "zing" and it is happily-ever-after for them.
But so also have i heard stories of despair, disillusionments and bad break ups. Some girls even believe that guys have taken something akin to personal pleasure in lying to girls, getting them to fall in love with them and then they walk away leaving a long string of broken hearted women in their wake.
With the valentines day celebration coming up in a number of days, and the over-the-top excitement and promise of the love that the season brings, this unsettling matter has taken deep root in my heart. Will some people truly find the forever-happily-after?
or will they be met with saddening rejection?
There has been many satirical materials moving around on the net about Valentines day impending disappointments when people will realize they aren't their Boo's boo because he/she doesn't shout out of the roof that they are the ONE.
What is your take?
Women, without bias tell us your experiences and how you dealt or are dealing with them.
Men, please educate us women to know when we should hold on and when we should let go. Knowledge is power they say.
Let the opinions and suggestions flow.................
