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Wednesday 31 October 2012
A FATHER IN A MILLION
That whole day was a hazy affair, the crowd, the music, the hugging, the tugging, the laughing influenced by the steady supply of champagne. As opposed to the quiet private wedding i have always wanted, this was a gigantic affair, so i forced myself to go through with it as the most important thing for me was being with Julz. He was the one i was sure i wanted to spend the rest of my life with so i could endure even much more than this society affair.
"You may kiss your bride" i remember the Reverend saying and I gazed up into his beautiful brown eyes as he held me in a firm, yet loving hug and I couldn't believe he was mine. Not like I thought i didn't deserve someone good but because his beauty just takes my breath away everytime I look at him. My thought wonders to when we met exactly 11 months ago.
I was walking in the park on a bright saturday afternoon. It was a perfect day, the sun was up for the first time in many days following a spate of heavy rainfalls recently. I am not usually the park person, but i could not pass out on enjoying such a wonderful weather. So, i broke all my rules of spending my saturday afternoons cooped up in my room fiddeling with my computer, watching movies, or just being plain anti-social.
I had tossed on a pale pink and orange floral dress, thick dark glasses, flat shoes and tied my hair in a ponytail. I took my tote bag, in which i put in a novel, a bottle of chocolate wine, a wine glass, and a large veil. I hadn't bothered with my appearance much because i only needed a break from my norm and wasn't looking at socializing.
I got to the park and picked a choice location under a big shaded tree. I spread my veil using it as my mat, opened my bottle of wine, poured in a glass full and started reading my novel. It was a romantic novel by my favorite writer Sandra Brown, about two lovers who had been seperated by their families, but had jus re-united after ten years. They were trying to figure out how they were so naive to have believed the lies their parents cooked up while trying to re-connect and rediscover their passion.
I kept sipping my drink while i laid down to get more cozy and gobbled the entire romance of it (being a stickler for love stories). Unknowingly, i gradually drifted off to sleep. I had probably been dozing for 30minutes when i woke up abruptly. I was disoriented and confused until my eyes fell on the most beautiful little girl i had ever seen. She was an adorable baby girl of about 3-5 years old, and she looked like an angel in her pale blue dress. My gaze gradually recovered from thinking she was an angel into realizing how beautiful her eyes were. I managed a smile and she winked back! Now i was surprised, who taught her how to wink? It was then i realized she was standing there with someone and was saying something to him. Him??? oh my god! A guy had seen me so dishelved and confused, so i struggled to sit and try to reclaim my calm and poise (or atleast what was left of it).
I took off my glasses and looked at the man she was with. He is dark skinned, had a beautiful mischevious smile and looked very tall from where i was sitting. I immediately surmised that they must be related even though she was light skinned, as they had the same mischevious eyes and a wide grin. It was then i realized they were smiling about something the little angel had said. So i smiled and asked them what it was they were saying. The little girl responded "i said you are very pretty" i smiled and could feel myself blushing through my dark skin (lol) while i tried to finger brush my hair and straighten my dress that had gone awry from my nap.
I stand to my full 5ft 5"and i immediately wished i had worn high heeled shoes out instead of my flats. Mr. Mischevious was just as tall as i had guessed, i had to tilt my head back a bit to see his face. Upclose he was really beautiful and that;s not a word i use easily to describe a man. I noticed the girl had a spitting resemblance to his, the only different being that she was fair. While i drank in his physique and was really liking what i saw, i tried to peek at his ring finger to guess if he was married. The finger was ringless. As I sighed with relief, my victory was abrutly cut short when the girl said "daddy i think i wanna eat my lunch now" My heart stopped, damn! i was just open mouthedly admiring a married man.
I quickly recollect my confidence, and introduced myself. He said his name was Julz and his daughter's name's Jessica. I smile, and inwardly he struck me as a vain papito who had to name his daughter something close to his name. He asked if i minded them sharing the shade with me. I shook my head as i had lost my voice. He was just so damn hot! He spread their mat, opened up his picnic basket and offered me some food. I graciously declined and pointed towards my now almost empty bottle of wine. I realized i am now feeling light headed so i offered him the remainder and he accepted.
We chatted for a bit and i found out i liked them alot, especially Jess (as she liked to be called). She was full of activity and chattered easily, i found she reminded me of myself when i was that age. Suddenly my phone rings. Twas my boss, there was some kind of an emergency at a site where we were doing some construction and i had to go take care of the matter. I apologized for leaving and told them how much it was a pleasure meeting them.
While i packed up my things ready to go i notice Jess was pinching her father and smiling at me. I smiled back confused though and she said, "daddy ask her now!" As I wondered what that meant, Julz got up too and said in his very deep bass voice "i will love it if you gave me your phone number and we could go on a date sometime"
I tried to surpress my elation and asked him with a poker face "would your wife be okay with you asking me on a date?" Jessica quickly supplied, "daddy doesn't have a wife. my mother died when she gave birth to me. Daddy says she was very pretty and i look like her" she finishes with a smile. All of a sudden i am consumed with compassion for this little girl who never knew her mother and for the father who had had to raise her by himself.
I knelt down and gave her a hug instinctively and she hugged back. I fished into my bag for a pen, i reached for julz's hand and i scribbled my number on his palm and gave him a "call me" look. His palm felt so right in my hand so i held it a tad longer before releasing it. I bid them bye and walked away, but turned back once to wave at them.
On monday at my desk in the office, my phone rang and with my heart thudding in my chest with anticipation I quickly answered with much excitement. As soon as i did, i realized it wasn't him but some stalker i had been putting off for months now. I was immediately crest fallen, but had kept expecting his call.
Tuesday passed and wednesday morning came, still no call. Just before it was noon my phone rang. I answered and i heard a pause at the other end. while i tried to gauge if it was an error call, he spoke up and i recognized his voice. Damn, that sexy bass got me smiling sheepishly i had to pinch my cheek to contain my excitement. He apologized for not calling earlier, as he had traveled to go drop off Jess with her grandma. He asked if I would want to have dinner with him that evening. Usually i would fake a reason for a rain check with a guy so i don't come off as desperate for a date, but for Julz i couldn't dare. I would have ran out of the office at 12pm if he had said he wanted to see me then. Anyway, i accepted his invitation. He picked me up at 7pm sharp. He had chosen a lovely five star restaurant and i must commend his good taste in wine as well as appreciated his time consciousness.
We had a lovely evening and it seemed as if we had known each other forever. We had so much in common i could not believe my good fortune. At those few moments when our fingers brushed or our arms came in contact there was always that shivering electric spark that went off. We had a few drinks although it was a week night and he dropped me off at home at 10pm. Light headed cum the anticipation of the evening (i think) culminated into a lingering goodnight kiss at my gate (a first for me). The kiss was everything sweet and drugging. That was a type of kiss they referred to in mills and boons novels as jelly knee kiss.
Since then, we became inseperable, which came as a surprise to me, as i had always loved my indepenence. We were out together every other weekend and still stole few hours a week for lunch. And when he goes outta town i missed him so much it surprised me (a huge first for me again). He would send flowers, chocolate, cards when he was out of town to my office and that spiced things up alot. He was that sweet to me i could not help but fall head over heels in love with him. He was everything i had wanted and even more. I found his daughter to be every mothers delight and that endeared him to me even more. Four months ago while we were on a weekend trip to Ghana, he proposed to me and ofcourse i said yes. The rest is history and here i was in a white satin monostrap wedding dress with several layers of lace and net. I was his nubian queen and he was my knight in shining armor.
I had gotten my own brown eyed million dollar gift sent from heaven just for me..............
Tuesday 16 October 2012
FIRST CUT
FIRST CUT
He came into my life like one of those mystical beings we read about in novels when we were teenagers. Except this time i wasn't 18years old and i didn't still have those love struck scales covering my eyes. But yet, i could still feel the butterflies in my tummy everytime his name came up in converstaions and when he looks at me with those big intense sad eyes, my knees go weak. And then when his upper lip curve in that seductive mischievous smile that exposes a set of white teeth that looked like pearl, the nether region turns into jelly. My friends said i was tripping when i told them how he made me feel, and i thought, perharps i was, so i tried to fight it. I had always believed that if something was too good to be true, then maybe it certainly is too good to be true. And Ralph was just such.
Yet i wanted to uncover the mystry behind those sad eyes, so i stuck around. How could anyone with such sad eyes have such a beautiful smile? It isn't just because he was loaded that attracted me to him, (though i must admit i enjoyed knowing he had money to spend around). Especially after the the sad spate of broke ass guys who not only were too stingy but also took money from me that i had been with in the past. So, yes i liked to know that he could pay his bills + afford to take me out without constantly checking the price on the menu. But, i kept having the nagging feeling that there was something that was eating at him.
He didn't push to ask me out, which was something that concerned me. He obviously liked me, that much he said and had shown, and i knew he wasn't seeing anyone beacuse i had checked, trust me i investigated well, but he didn't come out to say what he wanted from me. I quizzed my cousin who had introduced us, so much that i was i twisted his arm to tell everything he knew, which wasn't much. And then every once in a while when we are together, someone or the other will call, his mood will become low and they seemed to be extending their sympathy.
One day i couldn't take the anxiety anymore, i came out and asked him.We were at the swimming pool lounging on the pool love seats when i asked him what it was about certain calls from the US that made him so sad and withdrawn sometimes. As soon as i asked him, his countenance changed, his eyes were cast down, he swallowed hard while his adam's apple bobbed with labored emotion. He tried to speak with obvious difficulty as huge veins popped up in his forhead. And i regretted having asked something that unsettled him so. I was probably dumb to have brought a personal question to a public pool, so i quickly took back my question and asked him scratch that, and forgot i ever asked him that. Normally, he would smile and hug me, but this time he withdrew, stood up, walked up and down while i followed him with my eyes till i felt dizzy. I could already feel a huge wall building between us and i was scared. He walked back to me picked up his bag and told me in a low voice to go get dressed we'll talk when we leave here. I obeyed like a chastised child while i kept pinching myself mentally for not keeping my mouth shut.
The drive away from the pool was long, graveyard quiet and the air in the car was as thick as a black veil. It was 38 degrees that afternoon but i felt chilly like it was 0 degrees as he drove straight to his house. When we got in we walked straight to the bar while i lurked around in the background wringing my palms and cracking my fingers in anxiety. He poured himself some whiskey, and me a glass of redwine, held out my hand and pulled me to sit on the sofa opposite his.
In that deep baritone of his,he said "there are things i should have told you a long time ago, but i didn't, because i was hoping this moment wouldn't come. I'm sorry to have treated you coldly at the pool". As i hurried to apologize for even asking such a question, he cut me off, saying something like it wasn't my fault. He spoke in a low voice so i couldn't make out the exact words.
He went ahead to tell me how he was madly inlove with an American girl back in the US when he was doing his Masters degree. They dated for only 6months but he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He asked her to marry him and she obviously loved him that much because she accepted. They had planned to come to Nigeria so he could introduce her to his family and they were both so excited. Two weeks before the day they were to come to Nigeria, they had a fight, it was the normal lovers fight and was over something so trivial but she took it too personal. He wondered what was the matter with her. But since they were running late to a friend's wedding they just got into the car and drove without talking to each other.
She broke the silence and apologized for her attitude. Said she didn't know what was wrong with her, she just seemed to always be in a mood of late. That was when it happened. A truck came out of nowhere, seemed the driver had lost control of his brakes, while Ralph who was driving tried to maneuver, it was too late as they were already so close, the truck collided with them at the side where she sat. She was badly injured though was rushed to the hospital. While the doctors battled to save her life he was informed that she was 6 weeks pregnant, and he thought, that was probably responsible for her mood earlier on. After two days in surgery, she died. Since then he hadn't been the same, he had vowed never to fall in love as a part of him died when he lost the most important person in his life and the little life that was growing inside her. He came to Nigeria days after her funeral as her parents did not want to keep the corpse for too long and has been trying to find solace, then he met me. He liked me too much that he felt he was betraying his promise to her
By the time he was done with the story, we were both crying uncontrollably. I went over to where he sat, i tried to put my hand around him to console him but he would not take it. I stayed there for as long as i could, but he wasn't coming around. He had blocked me out emotionally, and now i felt he was doing so physically too. When i couldn't take how he had closed me out, I picked my tote bag, kissed him on the forehead and walked out. Tears ran down my cheeks blurring my vision as i drove back to my house
I cried, not for what i felt for him or what we had had. But i cried for what we could have been. Maybe if we hadn't fallen for eachother we could still be together. But who am i fooling? i liked him too much i would never have been satisfied with being second fiddle even to one who wasn't alive. I tried to reach him days after and he just said he appreciated my concern and he is sorry for causing me any pain. Two weeks later he went back to the US and sent me an SMS to inform me, and wished me happiness elsewhere that he was sorry he just couldn't be the one to give me that happiness.
I was totally crushed and cried for days as i realized i had just had my heart broken for the first time.
He came into my life like one of those mystical beings we read about in novels when we were teenagers. Except this time i wasn't 18years old and i didn't still have those love struck scales covering my eyes. But yet, i could still feel the butterflies in my tummy everytime his name came up in converstaions and when he looks at me with those big intense sad eyes, my knees go weak. And then when his upper lip curve in that seductive mischievous smile that exposes a set of white teeth that looked like pearl, the nether region turns into jelly. My friends said i was tripping when i told them how he made me feel, and i thought, perharps i was, so i tried to fight it. I had always believed that if something was too good to be true, then maybe it certainly is too good to be true. And Ralph was just such.
Yet i wanted to uncover the mystry behind those sad eyes, so i stuck around. How could anyone with such sad eyes have such a beautiful smile? It isn't just because he was loaded that attracted me to him, (though i must admit i enjoyed knowing he had money to spend around). Especially after the the sad spate of broke ass guys who not only were too stingy but also took money from me that i had been with in the past. So, yes i liked to know that he could pay his bills + afford to take me out without constantly checking the price on the menu. But, i kept having the nagging feeling that there was something that was eating at him.
He didn't push to ask me out, which was something that concerned me. He obviously liked me, that much he said and had shown, and i knew he wasn't seeing anyone beacuse i had checked, trust me i investigated well, but he didn't come out to say what he wanted from me. I quizzed my cousin who had introduced us, so much that i was i twisted his arm to tell everything he knew, which wasn't much. And then every once in a while when we are together, someone or the other will call, his mood will become low and they seemed to be extending their sympathy.
One day i couldn't take the anxiety anymore, i came out and asked him.We were at the swimming pool lounging on the pool love seats when i asked him what it was about certain calls from the US that made him so sad and withdrawn sometimes. As soon as i asked him, his countenance changed, his eyes were cast down, he swallowed hard while his adam's apple bobbed with labored emotion. He tried to speak with obvious difficulty as huge veins popped up in his forhead. And i regretted having asked something that unsettled him so. I was probably dumb to have brought a personal question to a public pool, so i quickly took back my question and asked him scratch that, and forgot i ever asked him that. Normally, he would smile and hug me, but this time he withdrew, stood up, walked up and down while i followed him with my eyes till i felt dizzy. I could already feel a huge wall building between us and i was scared. He walked back to me picked up his bag and told me in a low voice to go get dressed we'll talk when we leave here. I obeyed like a chastised child while i kept pinching myself mentally for not keeping my mouth shut.
The drive away from the pool was long, graveyard quiet and the air in the car was as thick as a black veil. It was 38 degrees that afternoon but i felt chilly like it was 0 degrees as he drove straight to his house. When we got in we walked straight to the bar while i lurked around in the background wringing my palms and cracking my fingers in anxiety. He poured himself some whiskey, and me a glass of redwine, held out my hand and pulled me to sit on the sofa opposite his.
In that deep baritone of his,he said "there are things i should have told you a long time ago, but i didn't, because i was hoping this moment wouldn't come. I'm sorry to have treated you coldly at the pool". As i hurried to apologize for even asking such a question, he cut me off, saying something like it wasn't my fault. He spoke in a low voice so i couldn't make out the exact words.
He went ahead to tell me how he was madly inlove with an American girl back in the US when he was doing his Masters degree. They dated for only 6months but he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He asked her to marry him and she obviously loved him that much because she accepted. They had planned to come to Nigeria so he could introduce her to his family and they were both so excited. Two weeks before the day they were to come to Nigeria, they had a fight, it was the normal lovers fight and was over something so trivial but she took it too personal. He wondered what was the matter with her. But since they were running late to a friend's wedding they just got into the car and drove without talking to each other.
She broke the silence and apologized for her attitude. Said she didn't know what was wrong with her, she just seemed to always be in a mood of late. That was when it happened. A truck came out of nowhere, seemed the driver had lost control of his brakes, while Ralph who was driving tried to maneuver, it was too late as they were already so close, the truck collided with them at the side where she sat. She was badly injured though was rushed to the hospital. While the doctors battled to save her life he was informed that she was 6 weeks pregnant, and he thought, that was probably responsible for her mood earlier on. After two days in surgery, she died. Since then he hadn't been the same, he had vowed never to fall in love as a part of him died when he lost the most important person in his life and the little life that was growing inside her. He came to Nigeria days after her funeral as her parents did not want to keep the corpse for too long and has been trying to find solace, then he met me. He liked me too much that he felt he was betraying his promise to her
By the time he was done with the story, we were both crying uncontrollably. I went over to where he sat, i tried to put my hand around him to console him but he would not take it. I stayed there for as long as i could, but he wasn't coming around. He had blocked me out emotionally, and now i felt he was doing so physically too. When i couldn't take how he had closed me out, I picked my tote bag, kissed him on the forehead and walked out. Tears ran down my cheeks blurring my vision as i drove back to my house
I cried, not for what i felt for him or what we had had. But i cried for what we could have been. Maybe if we hadn't fallen for eachother we could still be together. But who am i fooling? i liked him too much i would never have been satisfied with being second fiddle even to one who wasn't alive. I tried to reach him days after and he just said he appreciated my concern and he is sorry for causing me any pain. Two weeks later he went back to the US and sent me an SMS to inform me, and wished me happiness elsewhere that he was sorry he just couldn't be the one to give me that happiness.
I was totally crushed and cried for days as i realized i had just had my heart broken for the first time.
Wednesday 10 October 2012
Blueprint Newspaper
For Truth & Justice
Jemima: I wish the weekend could be extended
Drusilla David | Jun 01, 2012 | 1 comment
Jemima Nikky Jatau
Jemima-Nikky Jatau, an indigene of Kaduna state, spent her growing up years in Abuja. She is a graduate of Mass communication from Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria. Jemima is the last child in a family of four and hopes to be a Media Consultant mogul. She currently works with I and R Communications, Wuse, Abuja.
How does your weekend start?
After work on Friday, I hang out with friends, have a few drinks and some good laughs and then head back home. Sometimes we go clubbing if we are not exhausted before heading home.
Do you go to club?
Yes, I do and I love to go with friends who make it worthwhile.
Peer pressure
That is a rarity for me. This is because I have always been a leader among my age group from childhood. So I do not usually get roped-in to doing what I have no intention of doing. I have my unique personality that stands me out and so I try to maintain that ingenuity without bending to pressure from peers. However, one’s peers must definitely try to influence. In that case, I have to stand firm. Sometimes I could oblige my friends to do what they want, for instance, I hang out with them, because I can never imagine staying home while my friends are out having fun.
Saturdays
I sleep longer on Saturday mornings because that is the only day in a week that I get to sleep past 7am. When I am up, I do a bit of chores, eat breakfast, watch TV and then buzz my friends. Usually, I go to the swimming pool with friends, and play in the water. From the pool we go hang out at a lounge, eat finger foods, have cocktails and gist. Later on, if we are not exhausted, we could go watch a late movie, and then head back home.
Hobbies
I love dancing, hanging out with friends, listening to music and gisting. I love to mimic people, from my mom to my siblings, my bosses and TV personalities.
Sports
I love to run and sadly, that is the only sport I engage in. It used to be every day, but now I do it once in a week or once in two weeks.
House chore(s)
I wash the bathrooms, sweep the house and mop.
Music
I love country music, rock songs, oldies and contemporary Nigerian music. I like Don Williams, Kelly Clarkson, Daughtry Nickelback and Avril Lavigne.
Role model(s)
I admire Mo Abudu a lot because I want to have a show like hers someday and maybe better. Another person is Eugenia Abu. She is a wonderful public speaker, composed and eloquent and also an intelligent writer.
Greatest achievement(s)
Well, at the risk of coming off as someone who is trying to blow my own trumpet, I would say I have had an exceptionally fast education. I left the University at a very early age. Currently, I am the Operations Executive at the firm I work at and that is pretty remarkable for a young person.
I write and consult for a couple of magazines. I have hosted a few programmes and red carpet events in Abuja and Kaduna. I dream that one day I will have my multinational company and be one of the youngest CEO in the history of Communications.
What do you wish you could do more of at weekends?
I enjoy every bit of my weekend and can’t complain, much as I do love my job well also. However, it would not be a bad idea if the weekend was extended by one more day (Monday)! Then my week will officially begin on Tuesdays. That would be bliss!
Filed Under: My Weekend
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DEDICATION TO MY NEXT
DEDICATION TO MY NEXT
It was over the phone, the break up. That is probably the most debasing of all jilting. It made my mind ponder, was there no respect enough to let me speak in defense of my pride? Was i so repulsive he couldn't wait to do it face to face? These questions and many more ran through my mind and i think one of the things that probably sunk me into pits of depression even more than the initial matter at hand did.
When the EX left, it was a difficult time. The whole facade of keeping the brave front came tumbling down. It is more trying for someone who is known to be a "stone cold bitch" to nurse through a heart break. Harder still because you are expected not to feel hurt after all you are a tough nut to crack, thus you should be able to dust your shoe and strut off.
These expectations put me under coersion to act as society expects of me, but those psychological strappings of these societal norms choked me like a strait jacket.
Atleast once in our lives we may have our hearts broken, be it by our own doing or the mischief of someone else. One thing is it really cannot be an easy thing to go through no matter how tough a cookie you are. Not unless you didnt't like the person a whole lot.
Getting through it, i had to build a strong support for myself, and with the help of a close confidant. Problem shared is half solved they say. But what i do is, share some, keep some. Not unless the person has the capacity to take away the hurting. If they don't, then no need baring my entire heart out. Some say that's me being secretive. To me, thats me being calculating, careful and mindful. Not to say it always works, but atleast it gives some kind of peace to feel that i am in control of my life.
Problem with break ups is that many of us don't give ourselves time to breathe after a bad relationship. We just jump right back into another with the hope of "getting under someone to get over the former". It works to an extent, only if you make sure your heart doesn't get involved too quickly. But how do you trust your heart to stick only to its duty of pumping blood and not interfering with your affairs?
Best to give yourself a breather, enjoy being yourself, be selfish, enjoy your own company before making that commitment again. Savour the feeling of being your own person, not Miss A's boyfriend, or Mr B's girlfriend. And when the Next comes along, they should meet a free person, one who is witty, happy, comfortable in your own skin. Not one still pulling the excess carry over burdens from past relationship(s).
This is just my analogy, if anyone thinks different and begs to differ, please do so by all means, the floor is all yours.
It was over the phone, the break up. That is probably the most debasing of all jilting. It made my mind ponder, was there no respect enough to let me speak in defense of my pride? Was i so repulsive he couldn't wait to do it face to face? These questions and many more ran through my mind and i think one of the things that probably sunk me into pits of depression even more than the initial matter at hand did.
When the EX left, it was a difficult time. The whole facade of keeping the brave front came tumbling down. It is more trying for someone who is known to be a "stone cold bitch" to nurse through a heart break. Harder still because you are expected not to feel hurt after all you are a tough nut to crack, thus you should be able to dust your shoe and strut off.
These expectations put me under coersion to act as society expects of me, but those psychological strappings of these societal norms choked me like a strait jacket.
Atleast once in our lives we may have our hearts broken, be it by our own doing or the mischief of someone else. One thing is it really cannot be an easy thing to go through no matter how tough a cookie you are. Not unless you didnt't like the person a whole lot.
Getting through it, i had to build a strong support for myself, and with the help of a close confidant. Problem shared is half solved they say. But what i do is, share some, keep some. Not unless the person has the capacity to take away the hurting. If they don't, then no need baring my entire heart out. Some say that's me being secretive. To me, thats me being calculating, careful and mindful. Not to say it always works, but atleast it gives some kind of peace to feel that i am in control of my life.
Problem with break ups is that many of us don't give ourselves time to breathe after a bad relationship. We just jump right back into another with the hope of "getting under someone to get over the former". It works to an extent, only if you make sure your heart doesn't get involved too quickly. But how do you trust your heart to stick only to its duty of pumping blood and not interfering with your affairs?
Best to give yourself a breather, enjoy being yourself, be selfish, enjoy your own company before making that commitment again. Savour the feeling of being your own person, not Miss A's boyfriend, or Mr B's girlfriend. And when the Next comes along, they should meet a free person, one who is witty, happy, comfortable in your own skin. Not one still pulling the excess carry over burdens from past relationship(s).
This is just my analogy, if anyone thinks different and begs to differ, please do so by all means, the floor is all yours.
Monday 8 October 2012
SHENANIGANS OF WORKING AN 8 - 6 JOB
SHENANIGANS OF WORKING AN 8 - 6 JOB
Usually when i share with people about how my boss and i relate at work they are surprised! I cannot blame them for being surprised because i have realized that many bosses are stuck up, unapproachable and carry all that air of "self importance" around like they are demi-gods.
I used to work at a reputable firm some time back. The job description was good but the bosses were asses! They believed employees under them were just shit heads and would probably not amount to anything as good as them in life. But as my friends and i used to say "koko for their head, na dem go carry last". They wielded their power to fire people at will and used it as a dagger to cut off anyone who remotely stood up to question their operations. They didn't realize nor appreciate the loyal employees they had until 70% of them couldn't take all that shit again and resigned. The bosses were probably unperturbed. After all, thousands of graduates were out there looking for jobs, so despite the huffing we did, they just weren't concerned.
This scenario i believe is what many people go through day by day. Hence, their surprise when i tell them how cordial and friendly i am with my bosses. My bosses are the most down to earth people i had ever met. Don't get it wrong, they have got their own huge dose of ego too, but they never rub it in. One of the hugest advantage of working with men and very sensible and decent ones at that.
At the close of every week when time permits, we have our own Thank God Its Friday (TGIF) gathering just a bunch of old friends. That allows employer and employee to discuss matters affecting the office and also our personal lives without the strappings of official lingua. This is great as it allows us to catch up with happenings in our lives outside the office.
My favourite Boss is the one whom i nick named Papi. He is the ideal father/friend figure. Playful, yet disciplined, friendly, yet assertive, jovial yet serious minded. He is the first person to notice if my countenance is foul and will quickly show concern and want to know what the problem is. Did i mention that he is incharge of vetting my prospective BFs? oh yeah, thats his jurisdiction.
Then there is boss 2, the very social one. He is incharge of making the office TGIF happen. He is the one to notice when i'm carrying a new hairstyle, the one to tease me totally when a guy comes to visit me at work. But strangely enough, he is the workaholic of us all. With him liking fun so much you wouldn't think so right? But he is the slave driver! The one who puts action into words and make me do better at work.
Then there is me, Little Boss 3. LOL.
Working with these amazing men has taught me alot of things, the major ones being that no superior should get it into his/her head to feel too high above his subordinates. Employees shouldn't be treated as dirt bags, but should be given an opportunity to harness their full potential.
Food for thought!!
Usually when i share with people about how my boss and i relate at work they are surprised! I cannot blame them for being surprised because i have realized that many bosses are stuck up, unapproachable and carry all that air of "self importance" around like they are demi-gods.
I used to work at a reputable firm some time back. The job description was good but the bosses were asses! They believed employees under them were just shit heads and would probably not amount to anything as good as them in life. But as my friends and i used to say "koko for their head, na dem go carry last". They wielded their power to fire people at will and used it as a dagger to cut off anyone who remotely stood up to question their operations. They didn't realize nor appreciate the loyal employees they had until 70% of them couldn't take all that shit again and resigned. The bosses were probably unperturbed. After all, thousands of graduates were out there looking for jobs, so despite the huffing we did, they just weren't concerned.
This scenario i believe is what many people go through day by day. Hence, their surprise when i tell them how cordial and friendly i am with my bosses. My bosses are the most down to earth people i had ever met. Don't get it wrong, they have got their own huge dose of ego too, but they never rub it in. One of the hugest advantage of working with men and very sensible and decent ones at that.
At the close of every week when time permits, we have our own Thank God Its Friday (TGIF) gathering just a bunch of old friends. That allows employer and employee to discuss matters affecting the office and also our personal lives without the strappings of official lingua. This is great as it allows us to catch up with happenings in our lives outside the office.
My favourite Boss is the one whom i nick named Papi. He is the ideal father/friend figure. Playful, yet disciplined, friendly, yet assertive, jovial yet serious minded. He is the first person to notice if my countenance is foul and will quickly show concern and want to know what the problem is. Did i mention that he is incharge of vetting my prospective BFs? oh yeah, thats his jurisdiction.
Then there is boss 2, the very social one. He is incharge of making the office TGIF happen. He is the one to notice when i'm carrying a new hairstyle, the one to tease me totally when a guy comes to visit me at work. But strangely enough, he is the workaholic of us all. With him liking fun so much you wouldn't think so right? But he is the slave driver! The one who puts action into words and make me do better at work.
Then there is me, Little Boss 3. LOL.
Working with these amazing men has taught me alot of things, the major ones being that no superior should get it into his/her head to feel too high above his subordinates. Employees shouldn't be treated as dirt bags, but should be given an opportunity to harness their full potential.
Food for thought!!
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