MUSINGS……. THE MATTER OF CHOOSING A FUTURE PARTNER

DISCLAIMER

Well, you know me well by now, I am a stickler for professionalism (not bragging). I therefore want to use this opportunity to denounce any direct or indirect resemblance this blog post may have to any individual, situation or place. It is purely coincidental and its intent is not to cause spite or any such ill feeling. So, take a chill pill...LOL

THE MATTER OF CHOOSING A FUTURE PARTNER

The matter of choosing a future partner is very important. I learn that while some people just seem to keep an open mind on this, others create a couple of hard and fast criteria/features which they want their future partner to possess.

Whether it is best to keep an open mind about it all or whether it is best to have earmarked basis of judgments, I cannot tell you, though I believe whichever one works for you, that you must do. However, this write up is just my usual musing and I’m hoping you can muse along with me, share a laugh or two or maybe proffer your own suggestions.

A week ago I put up this status on a social network “That the genetic outcome of my children is halfway dependent on my choice of partner is a sobering thought on its own” and oh my! did I get a lot of responses. One friend jokingly advised I consider him a good match for myself and another just wanted to understand what my silly head was cooking up again. In his words “LOL @Your status….Are you okay at all?”. And my response was “oh well, you know me, it is just one of my Monday morning musings”. And then he quipped “You never seem to be found wanting in that area”.

That, is very true. I am an over thinker ‘if there is such a word’ (I will have to consult my living + breathing dictionary – Jonah – later). Sometimes I wonder about so many things, some sane and some quite insane. But this matter has long been nagging my consciousness.

This post is on the backdrop of a conversation I had with my uncle many years ago, I think I was still in secondary school. We were talking about marriage and I remember him saying, “Baby, which ever man you think you want to marry in future, be sure to give me a heads up early. Because I intend to put into use his many years of detective work and carry out a comprehensive investigation on the man”. His reason, being that he wants to find out every inch of the guy's background and see whether he has got any skeletons in his cupboard or if his family has a history of Epilepsy, and such. It seemed very funny to me then and I laughed and laughed, however, I am now beginning to see wisdom in the latent meaning of his words.

At the time, I was so in love with the idea of love, I was certain that if I ever met a guy I liked, I would marry him ASAP without any care in the world. I carried that attitude through to the university and then my mindset began a paradigm shift. It started slightly, but before long, I was beginning to question my priorities.

At 17, all I wanted was a big, strong, handsome man to sweep me off my feet. At 20, I was looking for a hardworking man, someone who can provide my basic needs (home and hearth). A couple of years later, I have evolved way past that naive and believing girl I was, who wore her heart on her sleeve. I am now looking at a potential partner as someone who is smart, intelligent, driven, an achiever, comfortable in means, and able to provide for me with much more than just basic needs.

Whether this mindset is dumb or whether is it within sane lines I cannot tell. What worries me though is that in today’s society is it alright for a young girl to aspire for all that? Or should we stick to the simple beginnings our parents had?

Should a young girl have to settle for a simpleton just because she is scared that her heart desire of marrying well is too much to ask for? 

Please share your views and thoughts as best and as concise as you can, bearing in mind that many readers are looking forward to your responses to help them make better decisions in life.


Grazie Amico.

Just for laughs...