ONE THING ISN’T ENOUGH ANYMORE…

Here’s to making public, private musings… 

Ever sat through an entire movie without the urge to constantly check your phone every few minutes? Ever sat through a meal without also watching something on Television? Ever talked on the phone without also doing something mundane like picking out clothes for the next day or struggle to prepare a meal? Do you indecisively surf through several radio stations while you drive? 

Do you struggle to pay attention to the one thing you are doing so you don’t mentally start trying to multitask with other things? Or like most people now, do you only use and maintain one telephone line? (Exclude the pesky failings of Nigerian telecommunications networks and their connections). Most people just want to have more than one of anything. The Hausa man aptly puts it as “Gida biyu, maganin gobara” Owning two houses is remedy in case of a fire.

It is normal to dismiss it as just the mind’s ability to multitask; we may shrug it off by saying “aint nothing wrong with that”.  But what if these are indicative of the human mind which has involuntarily transformed itself into this massive web of insatiability where one thing is just no longer enough? Hence the edacity to amass more and more, even when you do not need them or want them.

This fast pace life where everyone is in a hurry to do something, to go somewhere, to have that thing is probably why many of us today are Jacks of all Trade, Masters of None.
Don't get me wrong, i think versatility is important, in fact i find that having that ability gives you an edge above so many people. However, when you spread yourself too thin into many different interests, you will find that you begin to lose depth in any particular thing. That is where the problem lies.

Indulge me and ask yourself this question, what if this attitude is also affecting our human relationships? There was a time in our lives when we were satisfied with being in a mutually beneficial relationship with only one person – our significant other. Without us having the need to keep a spare tyre (or as some people call it – chick/dude on the side) for incase of incasity.

Some of us would remember having a boo in secondary school whom you thought the sun rose and set on. There was never the need to be jealous. Waking up every day with a clear sense of purpose; you would receive a letter from ‘em and pore through it all day long. Then by night, pen down a reply and come day break, send it back to them by human-post. For that little while you were happy weren’t you? Though in retrospect, that would be called puppy love, but what other love could be better? One need not worry about how to share your time between 2 girls or boys while on the other hand trying your damnest for them to not find out about each other. Some of us surely must remember those simpler times when everything was black and white. You either wanted to be involved with a person or you didn’t. There were no grey sides. No safety nets.

Fast forward to several years later, the same thing cannot be said. Many people can no longer have only one partner, what if H/She breaks up with me? Should i be left with no one while H/She moves on to be with someone else? Those are the questions that permeate our thoughts. But what if it is that attitude of constantly trying to feel smart by keeping two people is what makes us lose that amazing thing which we could have with just the one?

You’ve got to take a leap of faith sometimes.

See, I have learned that Love is only for the strong, not for the faint at heart. Only the weak is engulfed with fear at the thought of falling in love. Therefore, the “smart” guy or girl moves you put on that gives respite that by holding back your heart it makes you impervious to hurt, is only a delusion.

For a truly smart person is one who is willing to put him/herself out there no matter how daunting fear seems.