Not to be presumptuous but the rise of magazines which
celebrate the superficial isn’t helping. With the razzmatazz and displays of
wealth and affluence in the rings, decorations, designer brands of the bridal
wear and accessories, one cannot but be totally captured by such mundane affectations, thereby
losing sight of what truly matters.
Seldom does one see stories that seek to capture the true
essence of togetherness that last a life time. Though those stories may abound,
the outright shine, sparkle and glamour of the nuptials easily drowns them.
No wonder, many young people are only keenly anticipating their
weddings so much more than they are planning how to make sure they were
choosing the right partner with whom they will share forever. Women are too
busy being preoccupied with getting hitched so they can rub it in the faces of
other single friends of theirs.
Like a certain young married woman my sister met at a party
who was flashing her wedding band at anyone who cared to notice. Shouting the
roof down at another lady who called her by her maiden name. “Do not call me
Grace again oo, can you not see that I am now married? Please from now on
address me as Mrs. Grace Jacobs”. And while the music came on, she began
gyrating on another man in a shameless fashion that even the single women she
seemed to spite wouldn’t do. It was so bad that everyone avoided her and she
became a spectacle. Sounds like the plot of a Nollywood fiction movie right?
But I assure you, it is 100% true.
Or a married lady I know who opened up to a friend of hers
that the prime reason for getting married when she did was because she was
bored and if she didn’t marry this one, she wasn’t sure she will meet someone
else who would take her as she was. There was no mention of her loving her husband
back or even respect. Little wonder, a few months into the marriage, she
rekindled with a past boyfriend of hers. Now, I am no heralder of bad news, but
I think we are fairly certain that the marriage is heading for the rocks.
I also read somewhere of a young couple who dated + courted and got married within 6 months of meeting, now the marriage
is in shambles. The wife only found out after the wedding that the
husband has an infant daughter with another woman. And in a funny twist of
events, the husband also only found out his wife was no saint either but was an
unrepentant runs girl.
Or of recent, the proliferation of abusive relationships and
marriages. Of the women whose husbands give them a black eye every day, or the
men whose wives brandish hot, degrading insults to them as breakfast. 
There are so many such bemusing situations that will leave your mouths hanging agape were I to mention. To me, these all sum up to the uncalled
for yearn to get wedded, aptly put in Pidgin English as “I wan marry, I wan
marry ”. Tor shebi when you marry for the wrong reasons and it blows up in your
face, you will only have yourself to blame right?
The bad thing is when it crashes, their family, friends,
pastors are never absolved of blame. This is because they probably saw the signs but
were either too coy to speak out on it or cause these days, if you dare to
criticize one’s choice you will be viewed as "bad belleh” so you are forced to
let them be.
This therefore brings to mind these mind boggling questions
“Why do people get married when they do? and to whom they do? What would be your
reason for getting married? Because i have a feeling people often say divorce is not an option before they marry, but what happens after they are married and are faced with challenges? I for one know that when I marry I want it to
be the real deal, for the right reasons and forever, till (when we are both
old and grey) death does us part.
I will leave you with these words of Jesus from the Holy
Bible...
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 - To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the
wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain
unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not
divorce his wife.
Please share any advise you may have on how to ensure one marries the right partner and on how to keep a marriage strong.
Remember to Share, Follow and Subscribe.
1 comment:
While tis possible that the appellation the 'right' partner does exist, i dare say that the reason for the collapse of marriages these days is simply because of the moral bankruptcy that has pervaded or generation.
Tis not so much about the right person but, rather we should ask ourselves Are we still honest? Are we still truthful? Do we still have integrity? If these exist, then, understanding that marriage is a covenant, a commitment will help us stay true to it especially through the storms. Afterall, the storm always passes eventually.
Post a Comment