I
have often heard that there is a surreal feeling that comes with being in love.
It feels like nobody but yourself can understand how that feels, unless of course
you are lucky enough to have someone to share that feeling with, maybe only then will
you feel understood. But many a time, one finds that requited love is a tall
order.
At
the middle of last year, months before my 30th birthday I could have
sworn I had everything figured out. I had asked my girlfriend of 4 years to
marry me and she had agreed. Even though we had broken up off and on within the
last year, we both knew we cared a lot for each other and if everything went
well, we would wed.
Our
families had grown close because of our relationship and every now and then my
mother in her typical sober yet firm tone will ask me “when will you make an
honorable woman out of Anna and marry her?” and I would come up with one excuse
or another like “Mommy, Anna wants to round up her Masters before she gets
married” or “I’m looking to get this promotion at work that will mean I will be
traveling a lot, and I don’t want to marry a young wife and leave her all alone
while I traipse around the world”.
That
will usually hush her up (for a while at least), while I drum up more excuses
when the issue is again raised at a latter date. I knew her desire was to see
me wedded, being the last born and the only one still single of her 5 children.
Months earlier my twin sister and the only girl had gotten wedded and now all
eyes were set on me, anticipating when I will start a home.
My
culture isn’t known to hammer the issue of marriage to men, because it is
expected that a man must be fully able to take care of the costs for a wedding
and setting up a home before he marries. But my mother’s often romantic side always
had a bearing in the way she raised us and her constant prodding that we get
married as soon as we are able to find someone special. Well, in this case, I seemed
to be the one dragging even though I began dating Anna, long before two of my elder
ones met their now spouses.
With
my new status upgraded from single, to engaged, and a new promotion that sent
me to start up a new company branch in Lokoja all was going really well as Anna
and I had begun mapping out plans on when to schedule a formal introduction.
That was until I met Tina at the new office I had been posted to. She was the
Human Resource person who got the contract to oversee the hiring of the new
staff and the setting up of the management team.
We hit
it off immediately we met even though we didn’t really have much in common as
per language, places we schooled etc. But somehow, ours was like a connection
of kindred spirits. We went out for drinks with the rest of the management team
at the close of the first week as most of us were new in town and had been
transferred from the firms various offices nationwide. Tina and I became inseparable
during the first few weeks. It was almost as though we had known each other
forever and even though we met every day at work, I felt almost incomplete
until I’d sent her a message every other night to wish her a goodnight before I
go to sleep. With Tina, it felt like we had been friends our whole lives. As
expected, Anna and I’s relationship began to suffer some strain which we
attributed to stress from planning a wedding, but I knew otherwise. Since my
car hadn’t arrived from Lagos, Tina in her usual caring fashion was so benevolent
to pick me up on her way to the office every now and then.
A
week ago, the zonal office at Abuja called for a meeting with all heads of the
North central branches so Tina and I were scheduled to be driven down by the
company driver, she being the HR and I the Branch Manager.
Upon
arrival, we found we had been set up in this swanky new hotel at Adetokunbo
Ademola crescent. At the reception, the concierge handed over our room keys and
luggage to the bellboy who led us to our rooms. While we walked down the
corridor, we agreed to freshen up and meet up downstairs at the hotel roof top
lounge for drinks.
Upon
reaching our suites, to our amazement we found we were across each other. Inside
my room, I laid down for a few minutes, sent out messages to Anna to let her know
I had arrived safely and then to the contact person to arrange logistics and
materials for the meeting slated the next day in the afternoon. After which, I
took a cold shower, dressed in casual jeans, a polo t-shirt and loafers.
I
arrived at the lounge a few minutes to 7, sat at a corner booth and decided to
wait until Tina arrives before I make an order. My eyes were fixed on the TV which
was tuned on to a music channel and I didn’t notice Tina arrive until she was
at the booth. She was dressed in flay wrap dress and her hair was pulled back
in a ponytail. While I took in her appearance in, she sidled beside me and got
comfortable on the sofa.
3
Hours later, and 2 glasses of long island iced tea down, I immediately felt a
strong feeling to lean into her and plant a kiss on her lips, but somehow, I
held myself back. I settled for holding her hand or placing an absent hand on
her thigh and I was grateful she didn’t withdraw it. We talked about
everything, school experiences, family, favorite songs, colours, and animals. To
my surprise I found out that she too loved dogs as I did. So naturally, our
next conversations were preoccupied with talks bordering on breed of dogs and
ways we had tried to hypnotize them.
The
time was 10pm and so we decided it was wise to leave the bar and get some rest.
I clasped her hands as we walked out of the bar and into the elevator, partly
because I thought she wouldn’t mind the extra support and also because I just enjoyed
being in close contact with her. Obviously a little tipsy, as soon as the
elevator doors closed, we reached for each other in a rushed hungry kiss. We
kissed for a few seconds before the elevator bell dinged to signal we had
arrived at our floor. We exchanged a brief nervous laugh as the doors opened
and there was a couple with their five/six year old child waiting outside.
Sidling
past them we walked down the corridor to our rooms and as Tina fished out her
key card from her pocket, I reached for her again. Putting my hands on her arm,
I turned her to me and proceeded really slowly to bring my head down towards
hers, giving her time to turn down the kiss if she wanted to. Somewhere in my
mind, I was hoping she would but she didn’t. She melted into my arms and
holding her head in place, we kissed for what seemed like forever. When we came
up for air, I asked “do you wanna come inside?” I tilted my head towards my
room.
She
shook her head, indicating she didn't want to and
said “I really don’t think that’s a good idea”. I think she saw the
disappointment in my eyes and so she quickly added “We have a busy day tomorrow”.
And I told her “our meeting is not till 1pm, so we’ve got a lot of time”. She again
added “well then, don’t you think we ought to take this slow?” putting emphasis on the word ‘this’. Sensing her
apprehension, I quickly prodded “hey, we don’t have to do anything you’re
uncomfortable with. I know you’re not really sleepy and neither am I, so I just
wanted us to talk some more”. And in that moment, it struck me that I was in
fact being totally honest.
Of
course I was hugely attracted to her, the beginning of a boner in my pants was
evident of that, but at that moment, all I wanted was to at most just lay with
her in my arms all night. I guess, somehow she believed me and dragged out a
response “o--kay, but i need to reply some messages in my room first and clean
off my make up“. I almost made cartwheels across the expanse of the corridor at
her reply but managed a slight nod of my head and relied “sure. May i?” I said
gesturing at the key card she had clutched in her left hand, she smiled in acquiescence
as I took the key from her, slotted it in to unlock the door and then placed it
back in her hands while I held open the door for her to step in...
*To be continued*
