PARADIGM SHIFT

Disclaimer

Any resemblance of characters in my blog to real life, whether of persons, objects, or circumstances are purely coincidental. Also, try as much as you can not to use contents of this blog to judge my persona, well its not like i care anyway. For the sake of your psychological health, take everything on face value. This is because alot of crazy things may be spewed here that can turn even the most stoic into locos and may even depress some -__- . You should just enjoy the read and you could even pick up a few things that will help. *that being detrimental to you ofcourse*. The lot of sane things here will most likely to have been written by Jemimah. However, any inhibition you may have as regards the use of profanity in this blog is purely the fault of Nikky. She is my co-blogger and as others may well know "my alter-ego". Therefore any and all complaints should be forwarded to her desk. And to tell you the truth, she usually doesn't give a hoot. So you might like to do yourself a favour and ignore anything that may offend you.



On my usual morning musings, I put up this status on my social media status “A bitter woman says -all men are the same… a wise woman decides to stop choosing the same type of man”. And as usual I got an inflow of comments and questions.

 

Some women thought I was being anti-women and was inadvertently siding with the men folk. Where they ferreted out that idea beats me. But then it struck me, they were only looking at the surface meaning of the words without reading in between the lines. They obviously felt that I referred to all women in general as “bitter” because to a large extent, every woman has at one stage or the other in her life believed that “all men were the same”. This may be based on their past heart breaking experiences or the experiences of those close to them. 

It is true that we women do not understand men most times and because we cannot predict their behaviours, sometimes they do some hurtful things to us that we swear never to forget. And when a woman has had a chain of men who do these same things to her over and over again, it seems almost natural to blacklist all men as being cut from the same cloth.

What we fail to see is that how come other women out there are meeting loving men who sweep them off their feet and treat them with the greatest and utmost of respect and affection? Where did those men come from? Outer space?

To a large extent, we are the architects of our destiny. The things we do or say, the ties we make, the promises we utter, the bile in our hearts are responsible for making or marring us in future.

A large number of girls when asked to say their preferred spec in a man will tell you “he should be tall, dark/light skinned, handsome, rich”. This opinion largely influenced by the romantic soppy materials they we read or watch. Only a little percentage of girls will differ. 

Can’t we see the irony in all this? If every girl wants the same thing as you do, don’t you think that will automatically narrow your chances of meeting the right man for you? 

Don’t get me wrong, there probably are some decent tall, dark and handsome guys out there, but do you think they are enough to go round? Why aren’t we more concerned about his spirituality, his kind heart? What we are short of seeing is that this select few guys who meet this criteria know the clamour after them so they tend to be arrogant, vain and downright disrespectful. And yes, they can afford to be so because they believe there is a pool of girls they could “choose” from. 

So if you’re a girl who serially dates only these type of guys, it is almost predictable that their arrogance and disrespect will eat at you and leave you heartbroken. And when you’ve gone through the motion one too many times you become scarred and are prone to opine that “All men are the same”.

In my opinion, if your series of “acceptable” choices haven’t worked out for you in the past, why don’t you consider another option? Say for instance, why not give a short guy the chance to shower you with all the love he has in his heart?

Before y’all criticize me for being two-faced, I will totally give you thumbs up if you choose to stick it out till the one who meets all your physical requirements comes along. But I hope that when he does surface, you aren’t so bitter that you wouldn’t even recognize him nor give him a chance. 

So, If Misters preferred spec/features haven’t worked for you before, "biko" consider other options. 
 Most importantly, be happy. You owe it to yourself.