For most African societies, the
only illness worth giving attention to are the biological ones, Malaria, Heart
attack, Stroke, Typhoid, Fractures, Cancer, Auto immune disorders etc. Psychological/emotional
illnesses are lumped up into “craze”, “madness”, “witch craft” etc. We are
close minded about phobias, compulsions, grief, sadness, depression, anxiety, sociopathic
tendencies and other such evolving ailment that are stealing many people’s
happiness.
At religious meetings when people
are asked to state their prayer requests, it is unlikely that you would hear
anyone speak up about struggling with a heart break or feeling depressed
because despite his attempts to get into a tertiary institution, it’s all
proven abortive. In fact, most often than not, even in our own most private
thoughts we do not admit to ourselves that we are going through spates of
intense sadness or rage. We are hard on ourselves and so try to escape from it.
Some find respite in approaching it the
generic way, hoping that all be well with them, that they excel, that they get a new
job etc, because God forbid that they admit to themselves that
such lack or loss is hurting badly and then try or seek help in letting go
of the bitterness. This important prayer most of us skip.
We think, “oh no, there’s no way I
will admit to being hurt, that is giving the devil a reason to cheer at my
defeat”. Aren’t we being a bit too hard on ourselves? If it is okay to admit to
your doctor that you feel a pain in your body, why is it hard to admit that
your heart or soul is troubled?
The notion that we expect everyone
to be strong always is what’s driving people crazy. Many people do not have the
tools or the mental strength to handle stressful situations, but because it is expected of them to be tough, they hide behind a veil of perfect health when inside
they are dying. For some it is the trappings of friends and society.
For those who seek respite in
telling the world, while this tendency to over-share is definitely not the best route to go, if it gives you some peace then maybe you should attempt it but with the utmost caution. However, it will be advisable to find a confidant, speak to a spiritually mature
person, see a therapist or find a group of like minds. This may go a long way.
Truth is, today happiness is a very
tall order and so we are constantly in a struggle. Either to meet up with
personally set goal posts or to build a façade that tells people how well put
together we are, missing the point that we ought first to be kind to ourselves.
We owe ourselves that much.
Be well…
