The time was 9:09am on Thursday morning. I was seated at my
desk sipping on hot chocolate and nibbling on some cookies. It had been a long
troubling night and I was just happy the night was over and I could be at work
doing what I do and pretending all was well in my well-ordered universe. It was
then I received a call from my aunt- “a self-acclaimed Cupid helper”.
Earlier while en-route the office I got a call from a close
friend of mine and he had filled me with plenty gist to lift my spirit even
though it was only for a moment. So I got to work in a dapper mood and went on
with my work.
It was then the 9:09am call came in. This same aunt had
played cupid for me and this protégé of her husband’s about 5 years ago, though
he and I had met before prior to her introduction. It was back in secondary
school when I saw his picture with a friend and had a huge crush on him. The
friend introduced us and we got speaking. However, we hadn’t kept in touch much
until my dear cupid helper interceded. So we began a pseudo relationship which
was predicated on phone calls only and we barely saw.
After a while I realized he didn’t make my blood stir (I don’t
mean this in a sexual way), but he didn’t ignite in me any kind of intellectual
fire. I am a stickler for intellectualism, and a good command of English is the
first thing I find admirable in a man. Some of my friends call me a
sapio-sexual, but what can I say, they aren’t very far from the mark. When a
guy mistakes “seat” for “sit” I begin to wonder if I can bear to be stuck with
someone like that for the rest of my life.
From an early age I knew I didn’t care if a guy was tall,
dark, handsome, rich blah blah. I just wanted him to be smart, educated, vast
and versatile. Is that too much to ask?
I am one of those people who love the idea of love so much.
In fact, I can “categorically” tell you I love Love. After gobbling up every Harlequin
and Historical Romance novel I could lay my hands on while growing up I am sure
you will understand where I am coming from. I believe in fairytale;
The-whole-knight-in-shining-armor thing. Where a chivalrous man will come in
one smooth move, sweep in to save a damsel in distress, marry her and jet off
to the forever happily ever after. But to be honest, if you live in the real
world you will know that just as every fairytale had evil witches and evil
stepmothers, reality’s love affairs aren’t always that beautiful.
Back to my 9:09am phone call, Aunty Cupid called to remind me
of same guy she had hooked me up with a couple of years ago. She regaled me
with ‘words of wisdom’ from an older married woman’s perspective about how this
dude was looking to get married and she feels very strongly that we are well
suited for each other. Yes, he is a sweet soul, but here lies my predicament. I’ve
always believed that the only reason I would want to get married is if I was
totally in love with my significant other. I knew from the get-go that I do not
ever want to have to “settle” for anything or anyone just because my peers are
all getting hitched and showing off their glamorous engagement rings.
But that was 5 years ago. I may consider myself to be very
young but I make no illusions. I have heard stories of women who had so many
suitors knocking down their doors to ask for their hands in marriage and they
declined every time with no clear reason. Now they are pushing 40 and are desperately
looking to settle down. So NO, I do not want to be like that, I want the whole
9 yards.
However, when you’ve gone through the motions of dating a
couple of guys who cannot commit to a particular sock, talk more of committing
to a woman, you begin to question that once fundamental bylaw you adhered to.
When you know that to find a man who understands that it is his responsibility
to take care of his woman, is more difficult than searching for a needle in a
sack of hay - That’s when you will begin to have a rethink.
When my female friends who I thought knew what they wanted in
a man and would never settle for less begin to rescind their earlier stances
and they say to me “Jay, he’s nice and provides for me, what more do I want?”
that’s when the harsh reality set in.
This arrangee guy is nice alright, he is sweet in fact,
thoughtful also and I roger he will endeavour to provide for me. But is that
all a young woman should want from a man she plans to share the rest of her
life with? What about that burning fire in your heart? The butterflies in your
tummy when you see or think of him? Honestly, sometimes I ask myself; Is wanting
all that too much? Will the wait be worth it? So, I think I just might give
this fella a chance. It may or may not work out, but we’ll see how it goes.
*winks*
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