THINGS WOMEN WANT FROM THEIR MAN

I saw this graffiti (as shown above) some days back. It should have been funny but it rubbed me the wrong way because it showcased women as being indecisive, touchy and irritating.  This was coming on the heels of a discussion I was partaking in on one Nigerian online chat rooms. It was a bitter backlash on the character of a said Nigerian Actress who published an article about what men want from their women…. She must be sexy, be able to cook well, respectful, massage their egos, yada yada yada… and so the list goes. 

Many were of the opinion that she had no right to be an authority on deciding what women should do because as a matter of fact she was on her third marriage. Some others thought, well, she has had her own fair share of men so she should in fact have some authority on teaching other married women how to hold onto their husbands.

However, a larger number of female contributors were just bitter that so many articles, stories, and features were concentrating only on what men expect from their woman. How a woman must take care of her man, but very little or nothing at all is ever written about how men should take care of their wives. Because the truth is, just as you saw her and desired her for a wife or partner, so also could there be another man who is dying for her to be his. So it’s a two – way street.

This feature today is an off-shoot of this latter opinion.

What do women expect from their man?

In time past, women were considered accessories to their men, a lovely figure to grace the husband’s arm and a trophy to show to the world how accomplished the man is. But today things have changed, opinions have changed and believe it or not, society is changing so fast and some people will get left behind when it totally over hauls.

Women today aren’t mere trophies; they work just as hard as the men. In fact many work harder and earn even more than their spouses, so the matter of playing docile wife is becoming more difficult. More women are becoming bread winners of families and they expect more from their men than the chauvinistic attitudes men carried from the Stone Age.

Men dangle the “I will marry you- line” to women and they expect a woman to drop all she has ever wanted to become and be sucked up into his life without a consideration for her own needs.

So here are a couple of things women want from their men, and happy are the men who do these things, for surely you will be rewarded with a virtuous non nagging woman.

-          It is a general belief that women like the idea of making a family much more than men. However, women hate it when men dangle the proposal in their faces like a bait. As if it isn’t a mutually beneficial thing and that by wanting to marry the woman, the man is doing her a favour. This in the 21^st century, Women are more independent than they were 50yrs ago.

-          He should be neat. We know that men are usually slobs, but you must put in an effort to have some personal hygiene. Women are better house keepers and may not always mind cleaning up after you sometimes, but when it becomes a constant habit, it is irritating.

-          Women like romantic guys. I know some guys see romance as a thing done only in movies. What the heck, sure you’ve noticed your woman loves to watch movies haven’t you? So even if you don’t believe in it, try it out just to make her happy. Surprise her with a gift when she wakes up in the morning. It doesn’t have to be a special occasion before you go gift shopping. Run her a bath, wash her hair, give her a foot rub and a massage once in a while. 

-          Courtesy! Many men lack this. You struggle to push through a door and don’t even wait to check if she got in safe. Hell some guys even let the door bang in the woman’s face. It wouldn’t kill you if you open doors for her, pull out a chair for her to sit on before taking your own seat.

-          Appreciate her. She breaks her back at work and then returns home to keep the house in order again, but all you do is demand more and more from her. eg, "give me this and that", "I don’t like this food" etc. she is only human, not a machine and verbal abuse is terrible because it affects the mind and it may take a toll on her physically too.

-          Provide for your woman! Women want a man who is a man in all rights of the word. Provider, protector and leader. Some men can’t comfortably pay school fees, house rent and you still expect your wife to worship the ground you walk on? And even when she pitches in her own contribution to the running of the home you do not appreciate her sacrifice. 

-          Never beat your woman. You beat your wife once and you get away with it, so you do it  again and again and you feel you are a god. Well one day when you push her too far to the wall and she decides that enough is enough and pushes back? Don’t say no one warned you, That’s all I can say. 

-          A faithful man. Understandably, maintaining a healthy relationship is hard work, but do not add unfaithfulness to the list of your shortcomings. African men carry this crude mantra “We are polygamous by nature; there is nothing we can do about it”. Do you know that with every act of unfaithfulness, you further diminish the respect and love that your woman has for you? Think about that!

-          Make her opinions and business/work matter. Do not monopolize your conversations with only things that matter to you. For example, how your boss is being demanding, how your colleagues are leaving you to do all the work etc. she too has her own interests and job, ask her about them, encourage her to pursue her dreams and help her attain them.

-          Be sure that you satisfy her sexual needs. For some reason people in this day and age still believe that women aren’t supposed to enjoy sex. It is to be seen as a necessary evil, a means to an end (for procreation alone). That isn’t true. A man must learn to understand his woman’s needs and make sure he meets them.

That said, I wish you all a healthy relationship. And remember, don’t judge me and I wouldn’t judge you. Feel free to contribute. And please... Share!
Adios…